For a rainy day
by Allypallycally1
Summary: Roy goes back to the Elric's hotel room after he never showed up to hand in his report to find the young boy a wreck and in pain. What should he do? What CAN he do except be there for his youngest subordinate and comfort him? NO YAOI. Rated T cos of some bad words.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys so first fanfic and I have no idea how to write so this is just me spilling ideas into the page. Might be a one shot, might be more ;) don't know where the plot will go! :D hope you like it! Flames welcome and I will try to improve.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own fullmetal alchemist or the characters in it :(**

**here goes nothing~**

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'Where is that kid?' Roy thought as he looked up at the clock from the mounds of paperwork... 3.20pm.

"Sir?" Hawker asked as she noticed her superior's seemingly increasing impatients. 'What is it now?'

"Fullmetal got back from his mission at 11. Armstrong came with his report, saying that the kid was just going to drop his bags at the hotel before he handed in his report. What is taking him so long?" Concern was lacing Roy's voice as his mind started to think of all the possible reasons. 'Traffic? No idiot, he can't drive...' And Suddenly the worst thought wiggled his way into his thoughts '... Did someone... On the way back... No, no that couldn't be! That little kid is tougher than that! ... But what if...'

Riza had looked up again to see the colonel tense and a deep frown to cover his face. "Sir is Fullmetal worrying you?" He couldn't possibly work until he knew for sure, she understood that about him. His subordinates are all important to him, but Edward would always stress him out the worst.

Roy sighed and looked up at Riza, "you read me like a book, lieutenant" he said with a smirk

"Alright colonel, your subordinates are your responsibility, I think you need to go find one of them for a report due in. I can't have you not being able to work."

"Thanks lieutenant, I'll be back soon" Roy grabbed his blue jacket off the back of the chair and left his office. As he stepped out of the building he seemed to wilt slightly. 'No way, it's raining? Aww... I hate the rain...' Roy let out a steamy breath before he practically ran to his car, started the engine and drove towards the hotel that the Elrics were staying at that the moment.

Armstrong had stated that Alphonse had decided head back to Risembool for a week or two because the two agreed that they were going to hold their search for a while... After the last lead was a dead-end. Whereas Ed knew he had to go back to Central and deal with the Bastard Colonel.

Roy pulled up outside the hotel and asked the secretary for the Elrics' room, and promptly heading up, but not before shooting her one of his signature smirks.

Roy knocked on the door twice before calling. "Fullmetal? You in here?" he prayed to a god he didn't believe in that there would be a response... "Fullmetal? Edward? It's Mustang, answer the door-"

There was the sound of a door open, but it wasn't the front door, then Ed's voice was heard "go 'way bas'erd" his voice was raspy and horse. 'HE'S ALIVE! But Something's wrong' Roy thought as he quickly transmuted the lock and opened the door, almost giggling with relief.

All the lights were off except a sliver of light coming from the bathroom. 'He's in there' Roy strode over to the door and knocked lightly as not to push it open incase Ed was on the toilet or something. "Fullmetal? You in there?" There was a pause, no, a hesitation before and answer came

"No. I said go 'way" the voice was tired and ragged. Roy was about to go and sit on the couch until Ed was finished before giving a severe talking to for worrying him so much, when the sound of vomiting erupting from the small room. 'I knew it, something's wrong.' "Fullmetal, I'm coming in" Roy opened the door to find Ed leaning over the toilet bowl, his whole form was shaking and his automail arm fell limp from his shoulder. 'Has he broken it?' His red coat was sprawled on the floor, so he was dressed in his usual black clothing and boots. Roy saw the small boy's back muscles clench as another wave of vomit poured from his mouth and into the toilet bowl with a sickening slosh. Ed let out a pained groan. "Go 'way bas'erd, I'm fine." Ed muttered.

"Sure you are Fullmetal, you look like the picture of health" Roy said sarcastically, earning another "bas'erd" from the weak teen and grabbed the red coat and went to sit next to the toilet to get a better look at the boy, he was frighteningly pale and he had an extremely pained expression on his face. Roy drapped the coat over the boy's shoulders to which Ed shook his head limply and let out a little cough another groan. He shifted on his knees until he wasn't putting any weight on his automail leg which also looked limp. 'No way. He's broken both?!' "What's wrong with your automail fullmetal? Don't say you've broken it again. You should have gone back to Risenbool with Alphonse..." Roy trailed off as Ed looked like he was about to faint. His head lowered to rest in the toilet seat as he whispered "please, don' talk so loud... Quiet... Please..." The pressure in Ed's head had built up for the past two hours, at least it felt like that. Truth be told Ed had no idea how long he'd been in the bathroom puking his entire stomach out into the toilet, but until now he was able to deal with it. But now it was too much, and stupid bastard colonel was shooting sound into his skull with his booming voice... Oh God, it hurt so much. His head hurt so much! His whole body hurt so much! He was ashamed at himself for sounding for so weak. But the pain... The pain was so bad that if he had to beg for relief, he would.

"Edward?" Roy lowered the volume of his voice. 'What's wrong with him? He's not dead, and I can't see any injuries... Is he sick?' He curled his finger around Ed's chin and lifted his head to see his face more clearly. His eyes shut immediately and his face was screwed up and he weakly tried to turn away. "Come on Edward, open your eyes." Ed genuinely wanted to open his eyes and look that bastard in the eyes to tell him to get the hell out of his room, but as soon as he tried to, the light burned into his eyes and shot needles into his head. He whimpered 'so pathetic' and squeezed his eyes shut again.

"I c-can't" he breathed. Roy frowned. "Do it Edward. Look at me" His voice was hard and flat.

"Q-quiet... I c-can't, it hu-hurts too m-much" his eyes were still stinging and his head was pounding and spinning and his head hurts so much! It hurts it hurts IT HURTS! Ed felt tears begin to fall over his cheeks 'so, so pathetic' and his left hand moved up to his head. The pressure kept building, and he grabbed onto his golden hair and started to pull. 'Gotta get the pressure out, it's too much!'

Roy saw Ed's eyes start to tear up before they spilled over down his pale cheeks. 'No way... was he... crying?' Roy had never seen Edward so unravelled before! But it was no shock. He was still a kid. Kids cry when they're hurt, and this one had never cried in front if anyone, always keeping up that wall, that façade of being a grown up, but he was still a kid who has lost almost everything on the inside.

Roy saw Ed reach for his hair and start to pull. He saw that he was on course to pull out a handful of hair, so Roy gently placed a hand on top of Ed's to stop him. Ed started to shake more violently, he NEEDED this pain to stop! His body feels like it's being pulled apart! 'Oh jeez, this kid's really at his limit' Roy thought. 'He needs to calm down...'

Without thinking Roy gathered the limp boy together and carefully placed him on his lap, not wanting to interfere with his still undiagnosed problematic automail, he made it so Ed's left side was leaning against him, his head leaned into his chest and lolled heavily. He wrapped his arms around the shaking form and started to rock slightly.

"Shhh, Edward. You need to calm down, just take a deep breath..." Roy whispered, trying not to agitate the boy's head anymore. His efforts were in vain however when a loud crack of thunder boomed through the building. Ed whimpered and buried his head in the colonel's chest. The warmth was comforting, but there was still pain. The noise shot through his ears and into his head and it hurt.

"Shhh. It's ok, just calm down and tell me what's wrong ok?" Roy whispered as he stroke Ed's hair absent-mindedly and waited for the boy to calm down.

It took about 20 minutes before Ed's breathing finally slowed and he stopped shaking. Sort of. Roy noticed this and lifted his head again. "Edward, can you open you eyes now?"

"N-no.." He whispered stubbornly. "It hu-hurts" his voice broke and he started to shake again

"Shhh Edward, it's ok, calm down. Just tell me what hurts?" Roy tried to keep his voice calm despite his frustration, not because of Ed's stubbornness, but because his youngest subordinate was clearly in pain but the cause was still unknown to him, restricting his ability to help.

Roy cursed under his breath as Ed's shaking worsened and lightning flashed outside followed by the crash of thunder. The rain outside got harder and Ed whimpered.

'No... It can't rain harder... It already hurts so much!... No more!'

"Please!" Ed cried out.

"What? What's wrong Edward?" Roy watched as Ed went to hold his metal shoulder. 'The automail again?' He thought as he saw the boy's left thigh muscle tense out of the corner of his eye. He shifted under Ed's unrealistically heavy weight- no doubt because of the automail. It was pretty uncomfortable sitting on tiled floor for as long as he had, however long that is.

"It hu-hurts s-s-so mu-much!" Ed's voice broke and small sobs started to wrack his frame. 'No! Edward calm down! Come on you're stronger than this! And... I don't know... How to... Deal with kids.' Roy inwardly groaned at his situation. But his thoughts were cut off as Ed continued.

"Idiot... Wh-y am I-I cr-rying? N-no one deserv-ves this m-more than me-e! Ri-right? It's my fau-lt! Everything's my fault!"

'Deserves what?! What's wrong with him?!' "Edward, what's hurting? Is it your automail? Have you broken it? Shhh Edward it's ok, it's not your fault. Nothing's your fault. Shhhh calm down" Roy wrapped his arms around the boy and held his head to his chest. He could feel Ed's hot tears dampen his shirt and stick to his skin. 'His fault? This boy is... He's so broken. This KID is so torn up inside, how can he possibly bear it? First his mother dies, he goes through rigorous training only to see the most horrific thing this world can offer, his brother nearly dies and he loses two limbs in the process. All after he goes through his father leaving his family. Then I come along and force him into the bloody MILITARY so he has no choice but to grow up there and then and hold everything inside him and to act like the prodigy he's expected to be. But this... This is what he really is... Just broken.' Roy took in a breath as he realised that this broken child is half his fault, 'but it's not the time for self-pity... Not now'

More thunder tore through Ed's sobs and the rain wracked against the window. Ed squeezed his shoulder harder and screamed in pain.

"Edward! What's wrong?! Please Fullmetal tell me what hurts!" Roy was turning desperate, he couldn't watch this boy, his subordinate, his responsibility hurt so much.

"Th-e automail!" Ed wailed, he didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered, screw pride, he just wanted the pain to go away! He can't take it anymore! "The ra-in! My-y stumps! A-and my head! It HURTS!"

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**So? What did you think? Did you like it? Or am I doing a terrible job? I've already written the next 2 chapters because its fun :D should I upload them or just keep them to myself? I wonder if ill get any reviews... Oh well, I guess I'll see! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! well im back... i know little Edo is OOC but i think he's so cute when he's vunerable! 3**

**so here's the new chapter so i hope you like it. have any comments? compliments? (they make me happy) suggestions? (i'm writing this as i go so any ideas will deffinately be aprieciated and probably used in the story!-with credit to you of course!) even complaints are appreiciated so i can write better! :D**

**anyway, ENJOY!~**

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Then it clicked. 'Of course! The rain! When it rains those with amputated limbs and arthritis feel pain because of the rise in humidity! But having METAL limbs? Since when do electrics and water mix? How could I not have seen this earlier?! Does this happen EVERY time it rains? This poor kid! I thought I hated the rain, but it's nothing compared to this. And on top of that, the stress caused by this has given him a migraine! No child should suffer through a migraine, especially alone! Oh God, he's so alone...' Roy felt the pang in his heart as he realised how oblivious he'd been! He looked down and the sobbing boy in his arms.

"It's ok Edward, I understand now. Ok? Come on, I'm going to carry you into your bed. Ok? You'll be more comfy there ok? Is that ok? Come on" Roy put one arm under Ed's knees- earning a whimper from the hurting boy- and one behind his back and staggered to his feet, the jerking movement making Ed groan with pain and exhaustion. Yeah, he was exhausted. And Mustang's body is so warm... His arms... They are so strong... A man's arms. Ed could only remember his father holding once or twice, and it was nothing like this, that hold was hard and uncomfortable, this was warm and embracing. He... He kinda liked it. Ed's heavy head lolled against Roy's chest as he walked into the bedroom. He was so tired. He felt himself being lowered into a bed- 'ow ow ow my leg! My shoulder ow ow ow!'- And a sheet was thrown over him, it was so comfortable, the cool pillow was easing some of the pressure from his head.

"Mustang?" Ed whispered, barely able to stay awake.

"What is it Edward?" Roy knelt down next to the bed and looked at this still pale and tired boy.

"Why are you here?" Neither of them knew where that question came from, and it kind of caught the older one off guard.

"Err... Well, I heard that you had returned from your mission... And, uhh, and you-" Roy noticed that Ed was grimacing 'damn I forgot, his head hurts too...' He thought as he lowered his voice a bit before continuing, much to the relief if Ed "you hadn't reported in yet, so I got err... Worried."

"Worried? You were..." Ed trailed off as his breath hitched and a tear fell from the corner of his eye, onto the pillow 'oh damn! I've made him cry!' Roy thought as he reached for Ed's head to stroke his hair. He'd seen Hughes do this to Elylisia when she was upset, would it work for Ed? He thought it would be awkward but it wasn't... Wait, his forehead. Roy put his hand on Ed's head and almost gasped, the poor boy was burning up!

"Mustang?" Ed questioned the frown on the man's face.

"You have a fever. I'll be right back, I'm going to get you a cool cloth." Roy got up to go to the bathroom to get a face-cloth but the phone rang instead. When he picked up the phone a female voice was heard

"Colonel Mustang?"

"Yes? Who may I say is asking?"

"Sorry to interrupt your evening with Mr Elric, but there is a woman in the line who goes by the name of Riza Hawkeye and she wishes to speak to you."

'Damn, I promised her I'd be back soon. How long has it been?' Roy glanced at the clock. Oh. 5.45. He'd been here for over 2 hours!

"Ok put her through."

"Sir."

"Err hello, lieutenant... I err got a bit carried away here, but I don't think I'll be coming back into work today, so could you drop the rest of my paperwork at the hotel? I'm going to spend the night here. Fullmetal is sick."

"Yes sir, and may I ask what he is sick with?"

"I don't know, I found him vomiting in the toilet from a migraine and his automail ports were hurting from the rain. It looks like he's calmed down but I noticed he's developed a fever, I suppose the stress of the automail lowered his immune system for a while. And with Alphonse away he has no one to take care of him."

"Ok, I'll drop off your papers on my way home. And sir?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for looking after Edward, he is in need of some support."

"Don't worry, I know. Goodbye lieutenant."

"Goodbye colonel" Roy put the phone down and went to the bathroom to get a facecloth and wet it, when he returned to the bedroom he saw Ed sitting up in the bed clutching his left leg. His face was screwed up in pain and there were small beads of sweat on his forehead

"Edward?" Roy rushed to the boy's side to get a better look.

"Ow... My leg.. I think the port is too wet.." Ed practically chocked out the last few words. "Mustang, I need you to help me take it out..."

Roy was shocked. 'What? He wants me to do WHAT?! I can't do that! Take off his leg? No.'

"Colonel? Please help me.." Ed's voice was strained. He needed Roy to help him because the pain would cause his reflexes to stop before it was completely out, which would wreck the port. Roy sighed.

"Ok, but you have to tell be what to do Fullmetal, I... I don't want to hurt you." He knelt by the bed again, putting the cloth on the bedside table. Ed took a deep breath.

"Ok, I'm gonna hold the port so it doesn't tear my skin, you take the leg and pull. Don't stop until it's out ok? It's important that you don't stop." Nervous energy pumped through his veins, waking him up a little, this was going to hurt...

Roy grabbed onto the knee of the automail and Ed held onto the metal bolted to his flesh. "Ok, here we go, you ready?"

"Yeah, one. Two. Three." Ed tensed as Roy began to to pull on the leg. 'Ok, come on Roy, pull!' He thought as he yanked at the automail. There was a sound of metal creaking before it gave out with a satisfying 'Ga-thunk'.

Ed screamed. He screamed and screamed and doubled over and clutched the port. As if by instinct Roy threw the metal limb aside and went to embrace the teenager. He scooped the considerably lighter boy onto his lap and pressed his face into his chest. "Shhh. It's ok, it's done, it's done Edward it's ok." Ed managed to calm down and he looked at his superior. He could tell that the older man wasn't very happy with dealing with his automail. Ed grinned at this, even if only slightly because as soon as he had moved his head, a wave of nausea has passed over him and rudely reminded him of his fever.

"We're not done yet, colonel, we need to dry it or else the electrics will be shot"

"Oh, ok, which part art we drying?"

"The leg, my own body heat will dry the port now that it's open-" Ed was cut off as his vision blurred and the nausea returned double fold. 'Crap, the fever! Damn I don't feel so good...' Ed thought as his head fell against Roy's chest again.

"Edward? What's wrong?" Roy went to feel Ed's forehead again. 'Hm, it's gotten worse.' "Do you feel sick?" Ed gave a weak nod against his chest.

"'M dizzy... An' my tummy hur's..." Ed slurred his words with his energy drained again, and was vaguely aware of being lowered back into the bed. Roy put the facecloth onto Ed's head to try and cool him down. But he still needed to do something that required Ed's attention. "Hey, tell me how I'm supposed to dry your leg"

"Jus' heat it anyway you wan' without bunin' the wires.." Ed whispered as his eyelids dropped. He was so tired... Stupid rainstorm. Ed closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. Roy smiled to himself as he saw Ed's face finally smooth out and his breathing slow. He finally looked so peaceful... Well, as peaceful as one can look after puking the contents of ones being through a migraine and the pain of automail all on top of the emotional stress of being a 16 year old adult in the military. And he's all alone. 'Poor kid.' Roy's thoughts were again interrupted when there was a knock on the door.

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**sorry i left it at such a cliff-hanger last time and I did it again, sorry -.-' Its because i originally wrote it as a Oneshot but then it got too long so i divided it into chapters and instead of splitting them at a logical point, I just went with splitting them at a random place :/ But dont worry! ive written the next chapter already! should i carry on? or am i a terrible writer but this is fun for me! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**wow im so happy with all the views im getting! thanks so much guys! if there's anything that i haven't explained properly or missed out then JUST TELL ME. :D im not really a shipper of Royai so i cant make any real chemistry between them because i dont feel it... sorry :( mwahaahaha im on a running streak of cliffhangers! :') **

**anyway... hope anyone who finds this enjoys it~**

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Riza was dressed in her blue uniform and she smiled as Roy opened the door.

"Hello colonel. I've brought the papers as you asked." She said as she held out the stack of papers and files.

"Thanks Riza. Would you like to come inside?" Roy smiled when he saw Hawkeye's reaction to his informal tone. "Don't worry, we're not at work now, just call me Roy. Now, would you like to come in?"

"Uhh... Yeah, I would... Thanks Roy." Riza stepped in the small hotel room and Roy took her considerably dry coat. 'Must've stopped raining. Thank God.' Roy thought as he hung the coat up on the rack and put the stack of papers on the coffee table.

"How's Edward then? Any better?" Riza asked when she spotted the blond lying in one of the single beds of the room. She walked over and knelt beside the bed. Ed's cheeks were flushed and a thin sheen of sweat covered his face. Roy noticed this as he got nearer the bed too.

"Damn, his fever's gotten worse..." He mumbled as he took the cloth and wiped the sweat from the boy's face. Riza smiled at this scene, she never thought she'd ever see the great Colonel Roy Mustang act so much like... Like a father. Edward really was his weakness. "Is there something I can do to help?" She asked as Roy got up to go re-wet the cloth.

"Uhh... Yeah, actually, can you do the cloth while I take his leg and go dry it, it got a little uncomfortable so he asked me to dry it."

Riza was shocked, 'take his leg?' "Sir- I mean, Roy, don't you think that taking his leg while he's asleep would-"

"Don't worry, we've already taken it out, he just wants me to dry it while he sleeps. I wouldn't dare meddle with his automail without his permission, what kind of colonel would I be if I maimed my subordinates?"

Riza smiled again, she liked being with the colonel, he managed to make her smile no matter what. "Right." She said and grabbed the cloth. She saw Roy get up and gingerly pick up the automail limb. 'Oh jeez, this is weird, this thing used to be part of Fullmetal's body...' He thought and made his way to the bathroom with Riza. Roy let out a sigh. What was he supposed to do with this thing? Ok, so Ed had told him to heat it up. Perfect. Heat was his speciality. He put a towel in a heap on the floor and pulled out his ignition gloves from his coat pocket. Riza wet the cloth and turned around to see Roy setting up a little campfire of towels on the bathroom floor.

"Roy, those towels are made from polymers, burning them will surely produce a smoke that will set off the fire alarm?" Roy looked up and smiled, "I know, could you open that window? I'm going to use my ability to change the concentration of oxygen to keep the smoke flowing out of the window." Genius.

"Sure. I'm going to go put this on Edward's head now. Good luck. Don't burn anything important" he winked at her as she left and started a fire. He held the automail above the flame. It wasn't long before stream was rising from the metal. He was careful not to let the metal get too close to the flames and soon it looked like all the excess moisture was evaporated. Roy snuffed out the flame and brought the leg back to the bedroom.

Riza went back to the bed and laid the cloth on his head. Ed let out a small moan and his face screwed up a little.

"What was that?" Asked Roy as he walked back to the bed and laid the leg on the end of it.

"It was Ed, do you think he's feeling ill?" Riza replied. 'What's wrong with him?' Her internal question was answered when Ed raised his arms in front of him, as if shielding himself from something.

"Nng... No... Stop... Al... Mom! NO!" Ed started to thrash and kick with his one leg. "LET GO!" He screamed. Riza subconsciously took a step back from the bed, the scene in front of her was horrific. This kid looked as if he was fighting for his life, with one leg missing it looked he was losing.

Roy did the opposite, he caught both of Ed's wrists and held them in one hand while the other went behind his back and brought the screaming teen into his chest, holding his wrists between the two bodies. Ed continued to thrash and scream so Roy stroked his hair while he climbed into the bed and, once again, cradled the boy in his lap. "Shhhh, it's ok Edward, wake up it's just a dream, shhhh" finally Ed's eyes flew open with a yelp and began to fill with tears. "M-mommy?" Ed whimpered. Both the adults' hearts snapped in two. His mother was dead. He wiggled his hands out of the vice between the two of them and looked at them. "It's all my fault... I'm a monster" he whispered and clenched his fists. Tears fell from his cheeks and dropped onto warm and cold fists. The image of that... That thing that was supposed to be there mother flashed into his mind. It was too horrible... His stomach lurched as he sobbed and his hand flew to his mouth.

"Edward?" Roy finally spoke up.

"I-I think... I'm gonna-" his stomach gave another lurch and he doubled over. He felt the warm liquid spill into his hand so he moved the other one over it to catch any that spilled. Ed squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus in something other than that image, but he couldn't, it was burned into his memory and right now it was making his insides do flips.

Roy understood the unfinished sentence. As fluidly as he could he picked Ed up bridal style, got off the bed and ran to the bathroom. As he was lowered Ed grabbed onto the toilet seat and hurled what was left in his stomach into the toilet. Roy sat next to the boy so he could lean on him and not fall because of the missing limb and held his golden bangs out of his face. 'He needs to calm down, he's too worked up again' Roy started to rub circles on Ed's back. Ed had about 3 waves of vomit before he started to dry heave. There was nothing left inside of him.

"Shhh Edward, just take a deep breath, you're done now. It's over." Ed took some shaky breaths before he relaxed a bit, leaning a bit more on Roy than he meant to.

"Ugh... My stomach hurts..." Ed complained.

"Was that because of your nightmare?" Riza asked as she came to sit by the two boys. "Do you want to talk about it?" Ed shook his head. "No, it was nothing."

"Sure as hell looked like nothing Fullmetal! What the hell was that?!" Roy shouted. This was ridiculous! 'He wakes up screaming, called for his dead mother, cries then throws up everything he has for the second time today! And he calls that nothing... Idiot.'

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS THAT'S WHAT IT IS YOU BASTARD!" Ed bellowed back, but the strain on his voice sent him into a painful sounding coughing fit.

"Edward, its ok, talking about it might help. The colonel and I are just trying to help." Riza said in a soft voice. She gave Roy a death glare for shouting at the boy.

"No. I don't want to talk about it. It's nothing I can't handle." Ed's voice was rough and scratchy. He tried to get up before falling back into the tiles, hard. He was so tired... "Ow... Oh yeah... Hey, Mustang, where's my automail?" He asked.

"Oh... Uhh it's on the bed. You want to put it back on?" Roy grabbed Ed just as he was about to fail another attempt at standing up, his whole body was shaking with the effort. "Come on Edward, stop trying so hard, you're going to kill yourself"

"Shut up... " Ed grumbled as Roy grabbed his arm help him keep his balance while he hopped into the bedroom. It wasn't long until the shock ebbed away and the effects of Ed's fever kicked in. His knee buckled as his vision blurred again and the nausea flooded back and he fell towards the ground. Ed braced for an impact that never came, as it turned out, Roy had caught him and was now shaking him slightly by the shoulder.

"Edward? Edward?! Edward what's wrong?! Answer me!" Roy was trying to get the boy's attention.

"Ugh, my head.. I'm so dizzy..."

"Tch, of course. Alright. Back to bed." Roy picked Ed up again and carried him to the bed. "Jeez kid, you're a high maintenance subordinate. How does Alphonse deal with you?"

"He doesn't, I can take care of myself." Ed mumbled as Roy put him back into bed.

"Clearly." Roy smirked and threw the sheets back over the boy.

"Bastard."

Riza came to stand by the boys "Alright you two. Edward, you should get some rest, you're sick. Roy, you have paperwork do attend to-"

"Aww do I have to?" Roy whined. Then he had an answer. "Wait! I still have to put Edward's leg back on!" Ed tensed from underneath the covers. 'Damn, this part always hurts the most...'

"Might as well get it over with... Nice one, colonel." Ed said sarcastically.

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**I think Ive ended it next chapter cos i dont know what else to write about so if you want me to carry on then GIVE ME IDEAS! wont it be fun to see your ideas in a story? (mostly aimed at those who dont write- ie me about until about two weeks ago) anyway, already written the next chapter so if you have any ideas then ill edit them in before i publish! :D thanks so much for the views everyone :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Im back again! sorry this one took a little longer but i was at a block... meh. this is what i came up with, and sorry its kinda short too... i guess you either like it or you dont. like marmite. my story is like marmite. **

**have fun...**

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Riza helped Ed sit up in the bed and lean him against the wall while Roy picked up the leg off the end of the bed.

"Ok, now how do I put it in?" Roy asked. He really had no idea, and he didn't want to hurt the boy.

"Easy, line it up with the port, and push." Ed spoke with confidence but his posture was tense and he looked nervous.

"Are you sure you're ok with it? You don't want to rest first?" Riza asked. 'Can he really take it? After everything he's been through today, would he be able to handle this on top? I've heard from what Major Armstrong told about how much automail re-attachment is very painful. He's exhausted, but he probably knows best...'

"Yeah, I mean, this is what comes with automail. Hey, Mustang, make sure you line it up with the port properly. It's not supposed to be fitted like this but it's a quick fix." Ed shifted on the bed while Roy lined the leg up with the port, so all the ridges were in line. "Ok, there. You ready?"

Ed took a deep breath. "Yeah. One... Two..." Ed shut his eyes and balled his fists, Riza saw how tense this boy was, so she took his left hand and squeezed it. It seemed to help because Ed relaxed-slightly-and squeezed her back, but didn't meet her gaze. 'Too much pride...' She thought with a sad smile. "...three." He breathed and Roy shoved the leg pack into the port.

Ed barely had a time to take a breath before the wave of pain reached his chest and he screamed. The pain reached his throat and he took in a sharp breath, and so did Riza, Ed was squeezing her hand so hard the fingers were going purple.

Screaming

Tears

Screaming

Pain

Ed ran out of air and just sat there in silence, his face still contorted in the scream that had dried out. It looked horrific.

He took in a short breath.

Another

Another

Another

"Roy..." Riza said. Ed wasn't alright. "Roy! He's hyperventilating! Do something!" Her sharp voice snapped Roy out of the trance he seemed to be in, he was staring at his subordinate, studying his face, his posture... His tears. 'Does it really hurt so much? Is it anything I can compare to?' He was thinking, but now his mind was racing. 'WHY DOES HE ALWAYS GET SO WORKED UP?'

"ROY! Hurry! He's going to suffocate!"

"Don't be ridiculous Riza, he won't suffocate! But I don't know what to-"

"ROY!"

Ed collapsed. Breathing picking up. Tears streaming down his face.

"EDWARD!" but it was too late. His eyes clouded over.

"EDWARD!" Roy reached out and grabbed him by his shoulders. 'BREATHE'

Ed's eyes closed. 'BREATHE!' He slumped in Roy's grip. 'PLEASE EDWARD BREATHE!' His breathing still was erratic. And slowly, ever so slowly, it deepened. His grip on Riza's hand loosened and she rubbed the feeling back into her fingers, still staring at the boy.

"No way... no way." Roy whispered. He felt his pulse. It was there, he was ok. "He fainted... Can someone do that? Faint from hyperventilation?" Roy kept his gaze on the boy, whose breathing was now at normal pace.

"Sometimes, it's rare but yes. Some people do. But I think the stress on his nerves helped. I think we should lie him down."

"...yeah." Roy felt like shoving his head through a wall. 'You can't be serious! How can all this happen in one night?! Puking, migraine, fever, automail, exhaustion, nightmares, puking again, automail attachment and now... Unconsciousness?! I hope for everyone's sake that this night never happens again. How can Riza be so calm?! And Ed... This, this must be so... Hard for him...' Roy remembered Ed's face when he had no air left to scream with.

Ed was tucked into bed and the adults just stared at the boy.

"Roy. You should get to your paperwork."

"Are you serious Riza? Right now?" Roy whined.

"Yes, I can't have you falling behind." She said, but she was smiling. This man is amazing, to be able to handle everything that Ed went through, and with the care that let him-even for a little while- lower his wall and just be a kid being cared for.

Roy smiled back at her. He took in her long blond hair and her sparkling brown eyes. This woman will always be by his side, no matter what. He appreciated that more than anything.

They trusted each other. And they both saw Ed and Al as their responsibilities, so no matter what happens to any of them; it could be fixed and mended.

They saw Ed stir, but he didn't wake up. "I guess he's asleep then..." Roy whispered.

"Looks like it. Poor kid, he deserves it. I wonder if we should tell Alphonse." Riza wondered.

"Nah, he'll just worry and pester Ed for a while; I don't think it's worth it." Roy smiled at the image of Al checking on Ed every 10 minutes.

Riza looked at the clock, only to find that it was almost 11pm. She couldn't believe it. How could it possibly get so late? But she brushed it off and turned to Roy again. "I think I'm going to go home now. It's quite late and we've got work tomorrow. Don't be late and have that paperwork ready." She said with a smirk.

"Yeah, ok. I'll walk you to the door." He said and handed her the coat. They walked down to the front of the hotel and said goodbye before he walked back to Ed's room. Roy stared at the pile of paperwork still on the coffee table. 'This is going to be a long night...' Roy thought as he began to sign papers into the small numbers of the morning.

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**should i just end the story there? or should i let Ed wake up in the morning to find roy still in his hotel room? should i bring Alphonse into the story? hmmm i dunno... i dont think ill be very good at writing Alphonse****. yeah. well, hope you liked my marmite story! love or hate? tell me! :D but aint it sad, im a South African living in England and ive had almost no views from my home country... SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE GREAT PEOPLE OUT THERE! and America cos you give me the most views. and Poland cos you give me the least but i love you anyway 3 also shout out to anyone who loves music! hey! why not put what's in the charts for your country? that'll be fun wont it? i cant tell you what it is in England cos i dont listen to the charts, i find music through friend and youtube and other stuff :3 someone from england tell me what's new? also, id like to announce that this was the last prewritten chapter. yeah, this was as far as i got. so the rest of the chatpers will take longer because im writing as i go. so ill see you guys next time! :D OH WAIT! i wnated to know what the boy/girl racio is for stuff like this. im expectiong its is mostly/all girls but i cant simply assume. so if youre a boy... LEAVE A COMMENT! :D **


	5. Chapter 5

**I thought I was going to get bored of writing this fic but all your lovely comments and favs and follows gave me more motivation! :D oh and by the way I just want to apologise about any spelling/grammar mistakes, iv been writing the whole thing off my phone on the wattpad app (so this story is on wattpad as well and I put the new chapter up on there first, but normally before I proof read it -.-') and the spellcheck on my phone is limited and has British words so sorry to all the Americans! I'm so happy that I'm doing this because watching Anime isn't really accepted in my social group, so it's my biggest secret towards my friends or else they'd call me weird and not talk to the weird girl who watches anime but I watch it anyway and I love it so much and now that I'm writing about it in secret it makes it so much more fun because it's something I can do on my own without my friends' influences on my ideas. its great :D SO DONT TELL MY FRIENDS!**

**enjoy the new chapter!**

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The sun streamed in through the window above the bed where Ed lay. He shifted a bit before he opened his eyes and yawned. For some reason, he felt really tired. 'Wait... What happened last night...? I remember throwing up, and Colonel Bastard showed up. I'm just glad he's... Gone?' Ed noticed the figure slumped over the coffee table in the middle of the room. 'Oh no way. He's still here?!'

"Hey, colonel-" Ed was cut off by his own shock. His voice was barely a whisper. He tried to clear his throat but he ended up in a coughing fit, it burned his throat like acid and brought tears to his eyes. But he didn't cry.

The coughing seemed to wake up Roy, he mumbled something and cracked his eyes open. 'What's making that noise? It's awful. Wait. ED.' Roy sat up and turned to see Ed in his bed, coughs wrecking his whole body and making him jerk with every cough. "Fullmetal, you're finally awake. Hey, take a deep breath and calm down."

"Get- out- I'm - fine-" he chocked between coughs, but he took in a ragged and hitched breath and the coughs ebbed away. Ed rubbed his throat, damn, it hurt. "Why are you still here?" He croaked. He would have thought that Roy would leave at the end of the evening, but, he couldn't remember... What happened after Riza showed up? Flashes and images flickered in his mind but he couldn't decipher a scene or order connected to them. 'What? This is so weird...' But his thoughts were interrupted by Roy's voice.

"You are feeling any better Fullmetal? How's your fever? Does your stomach hurt? What about your leg? You must be hungry-"

"Whoa! What's all this about Mustang? Since when do you care about how I feel?" Ed questioned. "Wait, I had a fever?" Ed reached his hand up to his forehead to check his temperature, it was quite warm. He sighed. "Correction: I HAVE a fever."

"Huh? Wait, you don't remember the fever?" Roy went to crouch down next to the bed and stared at Ed, a frown flickered across his face. "What is the last thing you can remember?"

"Uhhh, well... I remember you taking my automail off. Then it's just flashes after that. Hawkeye showed up, right?"

"Ah jeez. Ok, why don't you have something to eat because I wouldn't be surprised if you chucked your entire digestive system into the toilet. Where do you feel like going?" Roy got up and went to clear his papers off the coffee table.

"I'm not hungry. Also, we've just established that I have a minor case of amnesia. Would you care to tell me what happened? Shouldn't that be first priority?"

Roy turned to look at Ed and crossed his arms. "Priority? What are you talking about Fullmetal? You'll be fine and you'll remember everything at some point, but right now your health is TOP priority, you're sick so I think you should eat something that your body can use to regenerate."

"I SAID, I'm not hungry. And I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened after you took off my automail. What if I got an injury that I don't know about and I worsen by not knowing it was there and so not being cautious?"

Roy sighed and rubbed his face. Damn, he was so tired... But this kid was being so stubborn! Fine, you know what? Screw it. We'll have it his way then. "After we took off the automail, you fell asleep, that's when you got the fever. Hawkeye arrived while you were still asleep, then you had a nightmare about your mother or Alphonse or something. You didn't want to talk about it." Roy saw Ed clutch the sheets. "You remember?"

"Now I do. But only as you say it. So keep talking." He gave Roy a hard stare as he continued.

"Ok, so then something clearly upset you a lot because you puked for the second time and I had to carry you back to bed because you were weak from that with the fever on top." Roy paused for a second to take a breath and really look at Ed who had sat up in the bed. His face was so pale, it was almost scary. And he had dark circles under his eyes, although the same thing could be said for himself. And... It almost looked like... Like his clothes were looser than last night. That's it. He's going to eat something when this is over, whether he's hungry or not.

"What? Keep talking." Ed snapped. Why was Roy staring at him?

"Right, where was I? Oh yeah. So then you wanted to put the automail back on," Roy paused again as he remembers the scene of the attachment, it was... It was horrific. Armstrong wasn't exaggerating about anything. "Then, you... Hyperventilated, and fainted. The end. Happy now? Good. Now you're going to eat."

"Hold on! And you're still here because...?" Ed said. He crossed his arms and stared at the Colonel. Who just smirked back.

"What? You think I'd leave you in the state you were in? Not a chance. What if you had another nightmare?" He emphasised the 'nightmare' and his smirk widened. "Who would be there give you your bottle and sing you back to sleep?" He chuckled. Ed had a look of pure fury on his face, priceless. Nothing wakes him up better than teasing the Fullmetal pipsqueak. But that look quickly faded from Ed's face and his head dropped so his bangs covered his eyes.

"Shut up bastard. I can't handle the nightmares on my own. After all, I have been every night for almost 6 years right? I don't need your help." Ed whispered. He looked up at Roy and met his gaze and held it. "So just get out." Roy was shocked at the coldness in the boy's voice. 'I think I pushed the wrong button this time...' He thought.

"Edward, I..." He watched Ed throw the covers off of his form and swing his legs off the side of the bed. He tried to stand but he yelped and bit his lip as he put weight on the automail.

"Hey, are you sure you should be walking on that yet?" He took a step forward to try and steady the staggering boy.

"Don't touch me. I said get out, bastard, I'm fine-" the automail buckled and Ed fell to the floor. Ed's automail arm hit the floor with a thud but something clamped around his flesh arm to stop him completely hitting the ground.

"You alright Fullmetal?" Roy asked as he slowly lowered Ed to the ground, before he shrugged out of his grip.

"Yes. I'm fine. Now GET OUT!" he screamed but, again, he was sent into a coughing fit. Roy sighed and went to the bathroom to get a cup full of water before bringing it back to Ed who had sat up against the bed and was gripping his throat with his left hand.

"Here, drink this." He said and handed Ed the cup, he glared at it before taking it, but the jolts from the coughing were making his hands shake and the water was spilling. Roy crouched down next to him and held Ed's hand with the cup in it and guided it to his mouth, then he tilted it slightly and it poured into Ed's mouth, but not without some spilling down his chin. Ed drank a few gulps before his hand pulled down on the back of the cup, Roy understood and took the cup away from his mouth.

"Better?" He asked.

"Yeah, so get out." Ed's voice was still cold but Roy put his smirk back on and stood up.

"No can do, Fullmetal. You still need to eat something and that will happen with or without your consent. Your choice." Ed gave him a hard glare before letting out a sigh.

"I don't want to be babied by the Flame Alchemist, I can go by myself. But you're paying." Ed said, returning Roy's smirk.

"Alright then, get up." Roy took Ed's elbow and helped him to his feet. Ed moved the leg and gradually put more weight on it before he was sure he could walk on it. "Yeah, ok, it's fine now. I can walk."

"You sure? Ok then, let's go." Roy went to grab the two coats while Ed out his shoes on. "We're going to stop at my house so I can change out of my uniform though." He said and handed Ed his red coat.

"Yeah, whatever. Wait, aren't you supposed to go to work today?"

"Well, I guess looking after a sick subordinate counts as an excuse to stay off work today." Roy had his back to Ed as he stepped out of the hotel room door, which was good because he didn't see Ed blush.

"I don't need you to 'look after' me Mustang. I'm fine on my own, always have been, always will be." He said and walked ahead of a stunned Roy who stared after the small boy. 'On his own. Yeah, he really is.'

"Hey, Mustang, you coming or what?"

"Don't get impatient Fullmetal, it's one of the worst characteristics... Along with being short."

"You... I SWEAR TO GOD MUSTANG IF YOU CALL ME SHORT ONE MORE TIME I'LL MAKE IT MY DUTY TO BE SURE YOU NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!"

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**Did you like it? I put Ed's wall back up but I'll most likely take it down again soon, if I carry on. but I think I'm really getting to the end of my rope! I'm running out of ideas! HELP ME! I'm feeling all emotional because I've just finished Zero no Tsukaima and Saito and Louise are SO CUTE! I'm so glad he loves her and not anyone else because she deserves it! ...well, you know... most of the time. (don't judge, im saying this because I cant talk about it to my friends :( and if you don't like my taste in anime- other than FMA because everybody loves it- then that's cool with me, just don't yell at me because I'm already conscious enough for watching anime as a whole) so if anybody has any suggestions for what I should watch next, give me a shout! I don't really like dark themed ones though, sorry :( but I respect people who do :D anyway, I'll probably take longer to post the next chapter because I'm out of ideas. sorry, anyway, SEE YOU LATER EVERYONE AND THANKS FOR LIKING ANIME WITH ME :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**hello moto! (anyone who has/had a moterola phone would understand) heres a new chapter to this thing that some people would call a story. me, I would call it more of a hobby. that everyone on the internet can see. WELCOME TO MY HOBBY!**

**enjoy...**

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The black car pulled up outside the small two-story city house and Roy got out the car before turning to Ed in the passenger seat. The car journey had been silent but Roy had noticed that Ed would squirm and sometimes place a hand on his abdomen every time they hit a sharp turn or a speed bump.

"Ok, we're here. Why don't you come inside while I get changed?" Ed nodded and opened the car the door before shutting it behind him; he took in the house in front of him.

"So, this is where you live?" He asked as he walked up the stone steps to the front door. He would never admit it to Roy, but the house looked kind of... Nice.

"Yeah, the best I can afford. C'mon, you can sit in the living room while I get changed." Roy unlocked the door to let Ed into a small living room with a double and a single leather sofa facing a fireplace. The mantelpiece was littered with picture frames with photos of many faces and scenes. "Make yourself at home, I'm going upstairs. There's a bathroom down the hall in the left if you need it." Roy said as he ascended the stairs to the second floor and out of Ed's sight. He went to go sit on the sofa and he collapsed into it harder than he meant to, actually, he didn't realise how exhausted he was, how good it felt to sit down. But, he had just been sitting in the car, why was he suddenly so tired?

Ed brushed it of for the moment, it wasn't important. Ed looked around the room more closely, but his attention was again caught by the photos above the fireplace. 'Let's see if the Bastard Colonel actually has any friends...' Ed thought as he got up off the couch, but he only made it halfway before he collapsed back into the embracing leather. His muscles had quite actively rejected he attempt at movement, damn, why was he so tired? Ed tried to get up again, his whole body screaming in protest. But he didn't want to see the pictures anymore, he was trying to get up because he was now preoccupied with the extent of movement he could take. The automail helped because it wasn't tired, obviously. Eventually, he made it into a standing position. 'Wait... Wait. Why am I so tired? What's going on? Did that Bastard drug me last night? I'll ask him when he comes down... But right now...' Ed fell back onto the sofa. That took up way too much effort than it should have; he shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

He fell asleep.

Roy changed into a white t shirt and jeans and converses. He went downstairs only to find Ed sitting on the couch, but his head was bowed to the extent that it looked quite uncomfortable.

"Hey, you're gonna get a sore neck if you... Edward?" Finding he didn't get a response, Roy walked over to the couch. He noticed Ed's deep breathing and the way he seemed to be almost swallowed by the big sofa. 'Heh. He looks so small... But he can't sleep now. He's going to eat something first.' Roy thought as he went to shake the boy by his shoulders.

"Come on Ed, you can sleep later, but right now you're going to eat something." He said in a stern but quiet voice.

"Ugn... No bastard, I'm too tired... I can't...move..." Ed mumbled. Roy could see Ed try to make an effort to lift his head but he evidently failed and let it fall again.

"What do you mean you can't move Fullmetal? Come on, wake up, I know you're tired and that's just because of the fever, the late night, the vomiting and the automail. If you're really too tired I'll just make you something to eat here." Roy grabbed Ed's arm and pulled the boy to his feet, he heard Ed yelp because of the vice grip he had Ed's flesh arm under, but he stood up none the less. "Good, now what do you like to eat?"

Ed lifted his head and looked at Roy who finally saw Ed's eyes close up, they were unfocused, bloodshot and there were very noticeable dark rings under his eyes. Roy resisted the urge to cringe at the sight. 'It's not healthy for a teenager to be too tired to move. This is wrong.' Roy took a metaphorical double take at his thoughts 'wait a sec, since when do I give a crap about Fullmetal? He performed the taboo and so he paid the price! He's hot-headed and naïve and causes way more trouble than he's worth. But...' The memories of the night before flickered through his mind. 'But... It's all an act. Isn't it? No. the kid doesn't have enough brain cells to put a wall up. But he's a prodigy, he is the youngest person to ever become a state alchemist, so everyone expects him to be mature and know all the answers so he wants to seem like he doesn't care, but last night...' Roy was pulled out of his inner debate by Ed's voice.

"Hey, you still here? I asked you a question." He said.

"Oh, uh... Can you repeat it?" Roy asked. Ed sighed before repeating what he said.

"I asked you what food you had."

"Oh, right. Well come into the kitchen and I'll show you and you just say what you'd like to eat ok?" He went to lead Ed to the small kitchen next to the living room, but he felt something tug on his sleeve. Roy immediately stopped and turned around, to see Ed had taken hold of the cuff.

"Edward, wha-"

"Just keep walking." Ed stated. There was no emotion in his voice, and his head was lowered so his eyes were covered by his bangs.

"But wh-"

"Keep. Walking." Roy glared at the boy for a second before turning and continuing to walk, he felt Ed's grip tighten and so Roy's arm was pulled behind him, until Ed was forced to stumble after him if he were to continue to hold his sleeve. But his steps never evened out, he just kept stumbling and as soon as he had reached the kitchen, Roy turned to stare at the blonde.

"Why did you do that?" Roy asked bluntly. Ed let go of the sleeve and his arm fell limp at his side while both his shoulders slumped.

"I already told you, I'm too tired to move, I was..." Ed trailed off and stared at the ground.

"You were what?" Roy pushed. 'Honestly, this boy is so cryptic. I can never get a straight answer out of him.' "Spit it out Fullmetal, if you're feeling sick again I need to take you to the bathroom. Or the hospital because you don't seem to be very willing to cooperate."

"N-no! Don't take me to the hospital. I'm... Fine."

"I'm still not buying that."

"Didn't think you would." Ed said with a smirk as he looked back up.

"Don't change the subject. What 'were' you?" Roy said firmly.

"Don't pretend like you care Mustang." His smirk widened. "You're not really father material, I feel sorry for your future kid." Roy crouched down and took Ed's shoulder and looked into his eyes, hard.

"Listen Fullmetal, I know I have no experience with kids, but you're my subordinate and I'm trying my best to help you here because... "Roy took in a deep breath, this was it. Ed needed to know. "I worry about you, Edward. I worry about what the military will turn you into, I worry about what your past will do to your mind, and I worry about the future, not only for you, but for your brother too. I want to make sure you end up ok. That's all, so shut up and work with me." Roy stood up and turned around, leaving Ed stunned and shocked.

"You... Are worried... About... Me?" He whispered, his eyes finding the floor again. "B-but... You're not my... My... Father... YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!" Ed screamed across the kitchen. 'Who did this guy think he was?! I'm fine on my own; with Al. he's all I need.' Roy turned to face Ed again but he didn't approach him.

"I KNOW I'M NOT YOUR FATHER, FULLMETAL, I'M YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER, BUT RIGHT NOW, YOU DON'T SEEM TO HAVE ANYTHING BETTER THAN THIS!" Roy shouted back, only realising the mistake of his words too late.

"YEAH, I DON'T HAVE A FATHER! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T HAVE A MOTHER EITHER! OR A HOME! Heh. And you know what else has been taken away from me?! MY FUCKING ARM AND LEG! AND NOT TO MENTION MY CHILDHOOD! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO WANT TO GO PLAY OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW OR SUN WITH THE OTHER KIDS BUT YOU HAVE TO GO CATCH A THEIF OR EXPOSE A FRAUD ONLY TO END UP CAUSING A CIVIL WAR?! Do you know how that feels? EVERYTHING'S BEEN TAKEN FROM ME! WHERE'S THE EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE HERE?!" Ed was shaking all over in a mixture of fury, hatred and... Sadness. It's so unfair. What did he do to deserve this? And he's so tired of it. So tired... Of everything. So tired...

The weight on Ed's shoulders suddenly felt unbearable and he fell to his hands and knees. He continued to scream though, Roy had cracked his wall and this was it breaking, all of his anger and unhappiness flooding out and he couldn't stop it. He screamed out all the words am he could about his father, hateful words. He screamed for his mother and brother, words of sorrow and regret. He screamed for Nina, for Liore and Rose too, for all his mistakes that had caused this build-up of pain.

And then he came to Roy. He screamed about how he was such a heartless bastard. And seeing this wreck in front of him, Roy felt no better than those insults. "Edward... Please... Stop..." He said to no one in particular. That same feeling from last night flooded into his heart like water into lungs, causing it to be crushed from the inside. And more still when he saw... Tears. The tears that were falling from Ed's cheeks the physical representation of his pain as they dropped into the tiled floor. Roy thought his chest was going to be crushed, seeing Ed in this state, gave him a feeling, which he couldn't explain: it wasn't hatred, right? It was more like he... Wanted to... Protect him? Is that right? Realisation slapped Rou across his face. 'Is this what being a father feels like? But, why do I feel this way over Fullmetal? What's wrong with me?' But he decided to think about that later. Right now his attention was aimed at the shaking, screaming, crying child on his kitchen floor.

Again, without thinking Roy knelt in front of Ed and took the boy into his arms. But this time, Ed struggled and pushed against the embrace.

"Get OFF ME BASTARD!" he screamed and tried to break free from Roy's grasp. But he slipped a hand behind the thrashing child's head and held it to his chest, letting the hot tears dampen his shirt again. Somehow the feeling of this eased the pressure in his chest a little.

"It's ok Edward, you can cry. It'll make you feel better, just let it out, please." Roy spoke without thought. It's just what he said, and it just happened to be what he really wanted to say, from the bottom of his heart. Why was he doing this? But the words seemed to affect Ed more than himself. He felt Ed tense and he let out a croaky mumble.

"That's what she used to say: 'it'll make you feel better.'" His shoulders started to shake as silent sobs poured off his being. He took in a shaky breath before he wailed; he stopped his struggling and fell into Roy's warm hold, burying his face into his chest. Roy smiled down at the boy in his arms; he was finally letting it out.

But he wasn't expecting for Ed to lurch out of his hold, to look him in the eye with his golden ones full of hate and agony, to shout how it was all Colonel Bastard's fault...

...to get up and run out of the house, down the street, away and away from a stunned Roy Mustang.

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**sorry if it seems kinda rushed and that ideas aren't explained properly, but I was kind rushing cos I was scared that if I took too long then no one would want to read it anymore. but if you don't want to read it anymore then that's fine with me, because this is fun anyway so you can like it or not :) give me ideas and if you already have then don't you worry, i'll work them in somehow :D don't have a clue where ths is going so I have an open mind! ill be seeing you guys soon mmmkay? should I post this on deviantart? maybe, but I don't know how to use it ;) ill figure it out :) **


	7. Chapter 7

**yay another chapter! im as excited as anything considering it took me ages to write it cos I was quite stumped on how to word my ideas. so here you go and have fun! also I would just like to say thank you so much to everyone! *soppiness all round* have a virtual cookie, my friend!**

**READ IT.**

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Uneven steps raced down the pavement of central, Ed was pushing harder on his automail leg because it wasn't screaming with exhaustion like his flesh leg.

Thud thud- thud thud- thud thud...

So tired. His lungs were burning, begging for air that his shallow and angry breaths couldn't supply. His face had streams of tears running down his hot cheeks, it was so unfair! He has nothing left. Why wasn't Al here when he needed him...? But even his brother is one of his biggest failures. It's Ed's fault that he can't sleep, eat or feel people. It's Ed's fault that he stays awake for the whole lonely night.

The thought of his brother's suffering only cause Ed to push harder. But he was already at his limit, his flesh leg gave way and he tripped and fell to the ground, gasping for air and hurting all over. It felt like all of his guilt was choking him and clawing at his muscles.

Lying on the concrete, letting out broken sobs, Ed suddenly felt his consciousness being pulled from him. 'No, not now, why? How is this possible? Stay awake, Ed, stay... Awake-'

"EDWAARD!" Roy had jumped up not 30 seconds after Ed and had tried to catch up, but just half a minute can be a fatal head start. 'Need to find him. Need to find him. He's sick and exhausted and starving and I need to find him! Edward please, please don't be hurt Edward! I could never forgive myself!' Roy's thoughts were anything but the kind of calm he would keep with any other subordinate in Ed's place. The look on the boy's face as he pushed out of the embrace replayed in Roy's mind and only motivated him to run faster.

He rounded the corner of the second block down, and there he was. Slumped on the pavement, his braid had come loose in the running so his golden hair spilled onto the grey concrete, but those equally golden eyes weren't visible. They were hidden behind his shut eyelids, and seeing this sent Roy deeper into his panic. 'Please don't be hurt! Please don't be... Don't be dead. Anything but dead!'

In seconds Roy was by the boy's side and checking for a pulse, all the while whispering words of comfort to no one.

"It's ok, he's fine... Yeah, fine, everything's ok..."

"...get away from me." Roy heard the whisper from the boy, looking down in a hurry to see eyes shut and heavy breathing. Ed tried to lift himself from the ground, but his arms barely twitched which earned a frustrated grunt from the teen. Why is everything so unfair? Ed was pulled out of his thoughts by the violent moment of Mustang pulling him into a sitting position and keeping his steady by his shoulders.

"Edward are you ok?" Ed kept his head low, partly because he couldn't lift it, but mostly because if he ever saw that face again, he might lose it for the second time.

"Don't touch me." He snarled.

Roy hesitated. 'I've really blown it this time. Fullmetal is furious; I need to get him back... But he won't accept me, all I've done to get him to open up, bust. Please, I need to get inside to see if he's alright... Dammit! This kids really tearing me apart!''

"Ed, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. That was too far, I know."

"Yeah, Bastard, that was too far. So get lost." Every word he said was both seeing with hateful emotion and chillingly cold. Roy had to fight the urge to back away, 'if I want Ed to trust me again, I need to show him I care...right? That'll convince him, right? How do I do that? Please Ed! I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!'

"Please, Edward. I take it back, please let me help you. I want to help you get back on your feet-" Roy was cut off by the sound of Ed's small croak of a chuckle.

"You want to HELP me?! That's hilarious Bastard, I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't want your HELP."

"Edward..."

Ed took in a hitched breath before continuing. "Besides, I know you're not serious. Answer me this: who in their right mind would want to help a kid that is as imperfect as me? No one. I'm barely even human; I look like something out a science fiction story book. And the punch line is that... I'm not proud of what my body is. I made the biggest mistake of my life and now I'm a monster both physically and mentally-"

"No you're not Edward. Your anything but a monster, you're the most talented boy I've ever met." Roy lifted Ed's head to look him in the eyes, those shocked, golden eyes, meeting with soft black ones. But Roy wasn't about to give up, he needed to know Ed was going to be ok. "Initially, I thought you'd be important to the state, but now I realise how blind I was. How many people you've saved, how many cases you've solved, how much you carry on your own... It's extraordinary. Edward, I've never been as proud to have anyone on my team as I am of you. And to see you come back from a mission in one piece gives me this feeling that I can't describe except for utter pride and hope for you. Please, Edward believe me when I say... I need you. There's your answer, I want to help you because if something happened to you, I could never get over it. You... Are important to me..." Roy trailed off; he couldn't believe he's just said that. But he was relieved, because it was something Ed needed to hear. And it was now he didn't want to see Ed's reaction, he just wanted to stay in this moment, he wanted him to understand. Just understand. He pulled Ed into his chest and held him there. "Please don't do that again..." He pleaded. "Don't run and do that to me again..."

"Yo-your jokes... Aren't funny. I hate you Mustang." Ed whispered. He was really at his limit... He was fading, and fast. This time he couldn't stop it, he completely collapsed into Roy's arms.

"Edward? Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Relax bas'erd. Ill wake up again..." Ed slurred before his mind shut down and he fell into the dark clutches of unconsciousness, finally able to rest his exhausted body and mind...

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**I am now going to apologise for the shortest chapter I have ever written. IM SORRY! JE SUIS DESOLE! LO SIENTO! GOMEN'NASAI! ... ****yeah that's all the languages I know I'M SORRY in. do you know any more? tell me! we'll make a collection of apologies :D anyway, ill be seeing this inter-tube-web-net again soon! (hopefully) also, please tell me what ive done badly! (also what iv done well cos that makes me feel nice) **

**GOODBYE! AU REVOIR! ADIOS! SAYONARA!**


	8. Chapter 8

**im so so sorry that this took so long! I had nothing to go on. nothing. so 5 parental royed fanfics later... this happened. and oh my wow my friend were SO CLOSE to finding out about this fanfic I nearly cried! dear Truth give me strength! (i wouldn't normally say that, I just thought is was appropriate...) **

**here it is~**

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Groggy golden eyes opened slowly to find a cream coloured ceiling. 'I don't remember this place... Where am I?' Ed thought through his clouded mind. There was a shift of weight to his right, putting Ed on some sort of alert, now realising this he was in a bed, but whose bed?

He turned his head slowly to find a man kneeling next him, who seemed to have fallen asleep with his face buried in his arms and messy black hair falling loosely on the edge of the bed. 'Of course Mustang would be here' he inwardly sighed before taking a wider examination of the strange room. There was a small bedside table which was covered in... Dirty plates and glasses? 'Oh no way, he ate here?! Wait... If he had to eat meals while watching me, then how long have I been out?' Roy shifted again and tried to further bury his face into his arms as the evening sun poured in through the window, but it seems it was too late, he had already woken up.

Black eyes instantly met with golden ones and Roy could barely hide his smile, screw it, his lips curled into a tired grin. 'Thank god, he's finally awake...'

"Hey there Fullmetal, you took your sweet time in waking up didn't you?"

"How long have I been out?" Ed asked, but his voice was scratchy from disuse. Ed made an attempt to sit up but found he didn't have the strength; he was too tired, so Roy helped him and answered as soon as he was settled. Was he supposed to just sit there and watch the boy struggle? No.

"Uhh..." Roy pulled out his state alchemist pocket watch to check the time. "About 37 hours." Ed's jaw practically dropped to the bed. How could he have slept for so long?! 'Oh, wait. I was unconscious... But what about the...'

"What's the deal with all these dishes?" He was full of questions, and he was going to get an answer to all of them.

"Oh, well I got kind of hungry while you were out. But you're hungry now, so what do you want to eat?" Roy had never forgotten his original goal, an advantage of all the training he'd received. "I don't think you should eat anything heavily flavoured, so I'll get you some bread. I'll be right back-"

"Wait! Back from where? Where am I?" Ed's golden eyes widened at the thought of mustang checking him into the hospital. Al would freak out.

"Relax Ed, you're at my house. I carried you back which was a task in itself, never mind going to the hospital."

"Shut up Mustang, you know that I have metal limbs so why expect any different?" Ed hissed 'why can't this guy give me a break?' He thought bitterly, but said guy had already walked out of the room. Ed was left in silence to further dwell on his thoughts.

'This guy is always such a bastard to me, yet he CARRIED me back to his home and waited beside me for, what was it? 37 hours? Even after everything that happened last night... Or two nights ago... And even when I ran away yesterday, he still came and followed me to bring me back? And... What happened in the kitchen...? He didn't say a word; all he did was sit there and take it. So He clearly doesnt... Not care. But what should I make of it? I hate him. I hate him more than anything; the stupid bastard has a heart of lead. So why does he make such an effort? Helping me when I'm sick won't get him a promotion.' Ed was pulled out of his thoughts by Roy re-entering the room holding a small plate with a few slices of bread.

"Here you are Fullmetal, I assume you like white bread and I haven't put anything on it so it's not too harsh for your stomach-"

"What's up with you Mustang? Why are you helping me? What's in it for you because I'm not a charity. This," Ed gestures with his arms towards Roy and the food. "This is not what I have come to know you for. So why the sudden change?" Ed's voice was emotionless but Roy could hear the trace of curiosity behind them.

"Oh come on, not this again Fullmetal. I already told you, I don't help you because I have something to gain- I'm not that heartless, no matter what you say. I want to help you because I just want to see you end up ok. Can't that be enough to take care of a sick subordinate?" He smirked at that last line. But on the inside he felt a kind of sadness in his chest. 'Why doesn't he trust me? I'm trying my best and he's still sceptical...'

Ed gave the man a hard stare. There was still some distrust felt towards the Colonel, and even Ed didn't know where it came from... 'Wait... Every time I think of this man helping me, all I can picture is him leaving...'

"You're just going to leave when I'm well again, aren't you?" As soon as those words escaped his lips, Ed's chest constricted and his throat clenched as memories of his father leaving flooded into his mind; the way he missed his father and waited for him to come back every day, and the way he would hear his mother cry late at night, and that Al would ask what he looked like. 'Why did he leave? He had everything... But then... He left, and mom died, and Nina died and Hughes died... Is it me? They all were close to me. It's all my fault. Everyone goes...'

"Why would I leave? You will get well again and I'll still help you and your brother get your bodies back, I can't have my greatest findings come out with nothing gained. Now, here eat this." Roy went to sit on the end of the bed and handed the plate, who never took it. "...Ed?"

"Is that all I am to you? Just something you found that will get you noticed? Well thanks a lot Mustang, I really feel special now." The boy's voice was dripping with sarcasm and a chilling hatred, but why did this bother him so much? Why did he feel so... Sad... When Mustang disregarded him?

"Ed, you completely ignored the rest of what I said, I'm never going to leave you because- listen because I'm only going to say this one more time- because I CARE about you. There, you happy now? Ed if I wanted to just use you for power, I wouldn't have even shown up at your door in the first place, so stop acting like I have a heart of stone because I don't, I don't know if you've noticed, but you've kind of grown on me in the last couple of days, and now when I see you upset or hurt, I get this feeling, right here..." Roy put a figure to his chest. "...and I just want to take it away so you can be happy. That's all I want, for you to be happy because damn you deserve that at the very least. And you know it. So please Edward, please don't lock me out anymore because I can't help you if you don't let me." 'I can't believe I just said that...

"..."

Oh, that's why.

"B-but you're not even my father, so why should you care?" Ed felt tears prick in his eyes, how could this happen? How could he let the Bastard get so close?

"Well I might as well be your father, Ed. I've done enough for you and it's not... It's not like I oppose the idea..." Roy made sure he didn't make the mistake of last time, even if it meant going painfully- very painfully deep to prove that he wasn't anything like that bastard of a 'father' that left Ed unable to trust any type of fatherly figure. Except...

"You..." He couldn't. Couldn't understand it, couldn't see it. Couldn't... Couldn't... Didn't want to. He didn't want to. It was... Too painful. "I can't..." He was so confused. It hurt so much. Those words cut him so deep, but it felt- that the same time- good? He wanted to cry and laugh and punch and hug and scowl and smile and what was the Colonel doing to him?! What he had just said...

"Edward. I know it's difficult to hear because of... You family situation, but suck it up and accept it. Your father is gone, but you've got me. I know I'm probably not your first choice-"

"N-no... It's fine. You're fine..." Ed lifted his arm up to wipe the tears that had spilled over at some point. Not that he had noticed until now. He just wanted the Colonel to stop his talking; the comfortably painful words.

"...here." Roy handed Ed the piece of bread, keeping his head down. Ed took it and shoved it in his mouth. Eating. A distraction, anything to get his mind off of-

"Don't eat so fast, you won't be able to stomach it." Roy's voice was soft, the last thing he wanted was to rebuke the boy and confuse him even further. The mixed messages would kill him.

Ed's shoulders tensed and he froze. 'Oh damn, was that too much?' Roy inwardly panicked, but a second later the boy relaxed and his arms fell limp in his lap. Finishing his mouthful his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Mustang... Thanks. A lot."

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**is it awful? should I just stop there? I said a hip a hop a hippy to the hip hip hop and don't stop the party. or something. I know they are both terribly OOC but it wouldn't happen if they were, or else would Roy be such a bitch to Ed when he loses his arm when he 'meets' scar? the answer is probably. yes. tell me why this chapter/ story is bad cos I just cant place my figure on it... but maybe tell me something nice between those flames? or else I might be sad forever. forever. thank you so much everyone for motivating me! and Guest Z:U, I would like to maybe read you story? but if you don't want me to, then that's cool :) also, I really want to see an amv for Ed, but I cant make them :'( I was thinking that Lullaby by Nickleback was a pretty good fit for his situation... but maybe its just me. so if any of you do amvs, maybe you can help me out or if you guys find one you could PM me? ill be forever grateful. help me for next chapter. please. please. please. please.**


	9. Chapter 9

**oh wow, it only took me a week. *sarcasm* really sorry everyone! im on holiday starting on Friday and im going back to Belgium this weekend (relevance: that's where I started writing this fic, I was bored with my friend cos she was watching tv and I was like "meh. might as well" ) so hopefully that will make it easier to do stuff :D **

**thank you so much for supporting me I feel super amazing! (even though im not) **

**hope you like at least some of it~**

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"Mustang... Thanks. A lot."

"Ed..." Roy smiled, he'd done it. He'd earned Ed's... Trust? Was it trust? No, it was more than that. It was more than that.

Roy felt a tug on his sleeve; he looked down to find that Ed had taken hold of it. The boy's head was still facing down but his shoulders were... Shaking? He was crying. Silent tears of relief and contentness (1) cascaded off his being. That's what he wanted to say, what he wanted to express during this whole time, just that he was grateful. He was glad that is was Mustang that had found him in the hotel that night, happy that he had shown up at all because he needed help, even if he wasn't prepared to admit it. He was relieved that it had been Roy and no one else because, deep down, he needed him.

All Roy could see now was a vulnerable child, so, reaching over, Roy placed his arm over the silently sobbing boy's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. For the first time, he was embracing the child when he wasn't completely hysterical. And it felt nice, comforting.

"You're welcome." Mustang mumbled as he rested his head on Ed's soft, golden head.

It was warm, safe, comfy... Is this what a father feels like? Ed wrapped his arms around the colonel and continued to cry. He felt as if the constricting steel cage in his chest had finally been unlocked. It felt so good, so good to know that there was someone, someone who cared. Even if that one person was such a bastard, it didn't matter. He cared. A small smile spread across Ed's face.

"Hey, bastard, Guess what?" He said. Roy looked down at him.

"What is it, shorty?" Ed scratched the colonel's back with his metal digits, hard. Causing said Colonel to wince slightly in an effort to hide the success of the attack from the teenager in his arms. He'd probably drawn blood.

"Looks like you've kind of grown on me too."

"Awww gimme a kiss then, Fullmetal!"

Ed had never moved so fast in his life. In milliseconds he was on the other end of the bed and pressed up against the wall, a look of terror and disgust on his face.

"No way! Eww that's disgusting you bastard why would I ever-"

Roy chuckled at this reaction. "Relax, Ed. I was only joking. No, I would never kiss you, as far as I know I'm totally straight and you're still a kid. I'm not a paedophile either." Ed relaxed against the wall, but didn't take his eyes off the man sitting on the other end of the bed.

"Don't ever do that again, you Bastard. It's not funny." Slowly and cautiously, he made his way back to the warmth of the bed he had been sitting in. Roy was still smiling at the reaction to his little joke as he handed Ed the plate with two more slices of bread on it. "Bread? Really? Can't I have something... That's not bread?"

"No, just eat this at first and make sure you don't get sick again and if you feel better then maybe tomorrow you can soup or something. Bread is a good staple diet and won't upset your stomach because it has a gentle taste and texture."

After Ed had finished eating he realised something...

"Hey, Mustang, where's your shower?"

"Huh? Are you sure you can? Don't you want to rest a bit first?" Caution was lacing Roy's voice. 'Translation: I want you to rest a bit first.' But Ed was already swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and throwing the covers off of himself.

"I've done nothing but sleep for days, I think I've rested enough." Ed stated and stood up, his legs wobbled a bit from disuse but other than that he stood firm, much to the relief of Roy who still looked a bit sceptical.

"Ok, follow me and I'll show you where the shower is." Roy led Ed down the hall to a door at the end, inside was a small bathroom with a shower-bath against the opposite wall.

"This is the hot water, this is the cold and, err..." Roy reached into a cabinet under the sink and fished out a cream coloured towel. "... Use this when you're done. Anything else?" Ed shook his head so Mustang moved towards the door.

"Just shout if you need anything." Roy closed the door behind his back and walked back to the guest room to pick up the dirty dishes and take them downstairs to wash them, now that he could because Ed had finally woken up. Every hour of waiting for him had been like going through hell over and over again. 'Why didn't I just take him to the hospital?' Roy remembered the look on Ed's face when he thought to be in the hospital. 'Oh yeah, Ed would have hated it...'

Roy was so lost in his thoughts that the crash and loud cuss word from the bathroom nearly made him jump out of his skin, except he was too just bounding up the stairs and down the corridor.

"Edward?! Are you ok?! What happened?!" Roy was at the door, hand on the door handle, waiting for the response.

"Tch... Shit... I'm stuck..." Roy heard scraping against the bath until it seemed to fall silent. "Shit... Errr... Mustang, I might need some help..."y

"Alright I'm coming in." Roy opened the door and quickly grabbed the towel and threw it over into the bath before turning around. "Are you covered?" He asked the teenager.

"Yeah, more or less."

"Good, now what's the problem?" Roy turned around to find the boy lying at the bottom of the bath tub, limbs and automail a mess and a towel thrown over his torso, wet, golden hair cascading down his shoulders.

"My automail slipped and I fell and now it's too heavy and slippery to get back up." Ed avoided Roy's gaze as he spoke, clearly embarrassed about the situation.

Roy gave a small chuckle and walked towards the bath. "Ok, come on Ed, let's get you out. Keep that towel on."

"You can count on it." Ed grumbled as Roy took hold of his arm and cautiously lifted him to his feet. Ed wrapped the towel around his waist and tucked it in so he could use his arms.

"Ok, are you hurt anywhere?" Roy asked. Ed lifted his arms to do a personal check, winching when his hand touched his lower back.

"I think I've bruised my tail-bone" Ed mumbled. "And I hit my head on the edge of the bath." He said as he rubbed the back of his head. Roy frowned lifted his hands to turn Ed's head around.

"You're not bleeding, do you feel dizzy? And your "tail-bone" is called a coccyx" he smirked at the last part.

"Whatever, no I don't feel dizzy. I'm fine."

"Good, now, I think it's time you got out of the shower." Ed made no move to step out, but Roy understood, his smirk widening.

"Alright, Ed, come over here, I won't let you slip." Roy held out his arms and a huge blush spears across the boy's face, but he held on anyway and stepped cautiously out of the bath.

But his automail foot which was holding his weight slipped on the tiled floor, and the two boys fell to the ground; Ed found himself lying across Roy's torso in an X shape.

Blushing furiously, Ed scrambled to get away and pushed his back against the bath. "Y-you said you wouldn't let me slip!" He stammered, but was only met by Roy's laughter.

He laughed and laughed and laughed, it was so funny for some reason, but the joy in his face somehow transferred to Ed's as he let out small giggles which soon escalated to full blown laughter and the two just sat there, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

That is... Until Ed remembered something. He got up, and sped out of the room and back into the spare room, leaving Roy to get over his giggles.

"Alright, alright, Ed, I'll bring your clothes!" He shouted down the hall.

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**I know, I know. they are both OOC again! sorry :( this is just my imagination and it can be difficult to keep it within the lines sometimes! so did you like it? I wrote it especially for you so I hope you liked it! this is like my gift to you! when's you're birthday? (lets pretend its today) HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERE IS YOUR GIFT! there. sorry if its terrible. and thanks again to all those who reviewed! you all make me laugh out in my classes when I get the emails! :') its so embarrassing... (Z.U, you and your sister especially! you're a funny bunch!) any help for little old me? or else it might be bad again if I have to come up with all my own ideas! oh well, ill 'see' you all again soon! :D**

**(1) I know that's not a word, leave me alone.**


	10. Chapter 10

**waah im so super sorry that ive taken like 2 weeks for this! I get quite anxious so I prefer not to set time limits for things or else ill set super stressed with all the trimmings. plus, this is just me having fun so, whatever! but I am truly sorry to all of those who are angry at me! so here it is...**

**this is what I came up with~**

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Roy knocked on the bedroom door.

"Ed, I've got your clothes here."

"N-no! Go away!" He shouted through the door.

Roy chuckled again. "Here you go. I'm just going to leave them outside the door, but don't think anything happened back there. Ed, trust me, I would NEVER see you in that way, I just thought it was a little funny, that's all. You just slipped, that's all." He explained. A smirk still spread on his face, the look on the boy's face was hilarious. But he meant what he said, there was no way he could ever see Ed in THAT way. If anything, Ed had become like a son to him over the last few days, and what kind of person does that... With their son...? He pushed the thought out of his mind with a sigh.

There was no response so he thought the boy probably needed some space. Putting the clothes down on the floor, he went downstairs to finish the dishes.

Roy finished the washing up only to find that it was 9.30 in the evening. 'Wow, the time really flies sometimes. But... Ed only woke up a few hours ago so... I guess it wasn't much of a day anyway.' He thought. Going back upstairs, he found that Ed's clothes were missing from their spot on the floor.

"Ed, do you want something to eat before bed?" He asked. Well, he couldn't let the boy starve if he was hungry, and he probably had too much pride to ask anyway.

There was, again, no response. "Edward, are you ok?" Roy opened the door just a crack to check if there wasn't something terribly wrong, but all he found was a small blond boy sprawled out on the bed.

He was lying on his back, his hair had obviously been fixed into a new braid and his black shirt was lifted to show his stomach where he scratched it while he slept. The black jacket was strewn over the end of the bed, so clearly he hasn't bothered to put it on.

Roy chuckled at the sight. "Honestly, Ed, hasn't anyone ever told you that it's not good to show your stomach while you sleep?" He whispered as he went to pull the shirt down again, but instead, Ed's hand shot at his wrist and held it in a vice grip that Roy couldn't imagine the boy had. Looking closely at his face to find any sign of agitation, Roy found that he was still asleep. Asleep, yes. Calm? No. His face was screwed up in a scowl and a thin layer of sweat covered his forehead. His breathing was deep, but hitching. Clearly, something bad was happening in his mind, it made Roy think of what happened a few nights ago.

-_'Shut up bastard. I can handle the nightmares on my own. After all, I have been every night for almost 6 years right? I don't need your help.'_-Ed's voice was so cold at that time.

He was yanked out of his thoughts when the grip on his wrist tightened and his hand started to throb. What was this kid trying to hold on to?

"Ed... Wake up. It's just a dream, wake up." Roy said, afraid that if this dream went on any longer, his wrist would be broken. The boy started to stir but his eyes didn't open, small whimpering sounds came from his mouth, he looked so... Helpless. "Come on Ed, wake up, it's ok." Is that what you're supposed to say? Roy really had no idea how to deal with these nightmares.

Suddenly, Ed shot into a sitting position with a yelp, his eyes flew open and his grip tightened double fold on Roy's wrist, who let out a muffled 'gaah' under the pressure.

"Ed? Are you ok? It was just a dr-" Roy was cut off when Ed threw himself into the colonel's arms. "Ed, wha-"

"You bastard! You prick! I hate you I hate you I hate you!" He screamed, while hitting Roy's chest with balled fists, although there was no real aggression behind them, so they just ended up being taps.

"Edward? What's wrong? What have I done?" Roy asked. 'How could this kid get such an effective nightmare in such a short period of time?' He thought. But his innocent question had a bigger effect on the boy, opening his eyes; he took in a few deep breaths to calm his thundering heart. Ed let his arms fall into his lap. Looking down at them, he answered.

"M-my dream... You were there... And my mom and Al too. But... Then you k-killed mom and turned her into... That thing, and you rubbed away the anchoring seal in Al's armour... Then you left me alone. It hurt, a lot. And I hate you. Bastard."

"Ed... You really had a dream like that? That's... Awful. And not true. I'd never do that. I know that Al is your last family member so I could never dream of taking him away from you. And I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?" Roy said in a soft voice, 'I'm serious, where do these words come from?' He thought

"... Yeah, whatever." Ed whispered, he had stopped thrashing and was just sitting on the bed, his hands in his lap. Roy was sat on the edge of the bed and he was just staring at the boy... This boy who's life never seemed to want to give him a break.

"Hey, do you want to come down and we can have dinner before you fall asleep again?" Roy suggested in an effort to change the subject.

"Really? More eating?" Ed complained as he looked up to Roy who put on a dramatically shocked face.

"You mean that the great Fullmetal alchemist, one known far and wide for his appetite, isn't hungry?!" He said, adding a chuckle at the end.

"Well, if you haven't noticed, my body clock's been a bit off lately." The boy replied.

"Yeah, well, you gonna come eat or not?" The question was immediately answered as Ed's stomach gave a loud growl.

"... Fine." Ed grumbled and hopped off the bed. He followed Roy down to the kitchen where he got out some bread before turning to Ed.

"What do you want on your sandwich?" He asked, snapping the trance like state the Ed had been in, he was warily eying the bottles of alcohol that where collected on the counter.

"Hmm? Oh. Err... Have you got any chocolate spread?" He said and went to go sit at the kitchen table. Roy inwardly laughed at the answer, a childish taste for such a prodigy. It was so ironic.

They ate their meals in silence, but Roy had noticed that Ed would keep glancing at the alcohol bottles to his right. Roy let out a sigh.

"You're not having any. You're under aged." He said in a stern voice, Ed turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"What?! N-no, I wasn't... I didn't mean it as... GAH!" Ed took in a breath, clearly his head was still fuzzy from the nightmare, and it always takes him a while to get over them. "I wasn't thinking of drinking it." He said finally.

Roy gave a smirk. "Good, after all, I think I'll enjoy it a lot more than you." He said. There was a flash of something in Ed's eyes before he averted them to his food, it was something that Roy had come accustomed to see in those golden eyes over the last few days, fear. It was barely a millisecond, but it was there. A frown crept onto the man's face as he thought about it. "What's wrong Ed?" He asked, hoping for the rare occasion that he would get a straight answer.

"Nothing, thanks for the food." Ed stood up from the table and put his plate in the sink before he stormed out of the room, leaving Roy with his hope crushed. 'Well, so much for a straight answer...' He thought. He heard the spare room door slam and he cringed at the loud noise after the silence. How did he get himself into this mess? Fullmetal was IN his home, and it wasn't like he was going to drop him back at the hotel at 10 o'clock. 'Looks like you're spending another night here.'

Roy's eyes drifted to the alcohol that had seemingly unnerved the blond, come to think of it, he hasn't had a night of alcoholic pleasure in a while. Putting the plate in the sink, Roy took a glass out of the cupboard and took two bottles of his favourite brand into the living room and immediately started to consume it.

Roy felt himself relax, it wasn't until now that he realised that Ed had caused him a lot of stress over these past few days, the alcohol was now finally freeing him of it as he drank himself further and further into a drunken oblivion.

Upstairs, Ed had stormed into the room and collapsed onto the bed after slamming the door. 'I never thought that... That the colonel would have... And it doesn't make sense because... Because he's nothing like them...' The boy's thoughts were broken and jumbled as he tried to keep some long-forgotten memories from breaking free. 'I promised myself that I wouldn't tell anyone. There's nothing to tell.' He reasoned. Not even Al knew, it was such a short time anyway, so what's the point?

Wait... Al. Al was still in Risembool and Ed hadn't called him at all to let him know that everything was ok, well, mostly ok, when the younger brother had made him promise to. He'd probably called the hotel a dozen times, but he'd been at Mustang's! He must be worried sick! Hopping off the bed again, Ed opened the door and descended the stairs to find Roy in the living room at the bottom of them.

"Hey, Mustang, can I use your phone?" He asked as he approached the man who seemed to be rubbing his thumbs over the stitch work on his ignition gloves. "Hey-" Ed stopped dead in his tracks as a wave of the scent of alcohol washed over him.

That was it. Another wall shattered. Each breath he took of the stench released more and more images, more memories of the short weeks he spent staying with the Hewitt's, the people who made the most stressful part of his life into a living hell.

Mr And Mrs Hewitt had taken the brothers into their home for 3 weeks before they moved in with the Rockbells straight after their mother died who needed to raise enough money to accommodate 2 more people, and even though he shared a room with his brother for the entire time, Ed had never felt so alone. He was the only one to know about the people behind the sweet couple they made out to be, and they made sure to show him their full... Personalities.

They would drink, copious amounts of alcohol would be consumed by the couple over their lost child before they would wrench Ed out of bed... to beat him. They would take him into the living room, out of earshot to his brother who would still be sleeping. He was so confused, he didn't know why they did it at the time and he still doesn't, even after all these years. He couldn't believe it was happening, that he was actually getting beaten by the people who offered to take him in.

Roy looked up sluggishly from his gloves to find the blond standing in his living room. Ed was shaking so hard it was a miracle that he was standing up, and his eyes were glassed over, showing nothing but terror to the outside world.

"Edw'rd...?" Roy slurred, his head was a soggy mess of fluffy nothingness, and he knew it would be difficult to come up with a coherent sentence right now, so he hoped that whatever the kid wanted could be sorted easily.

His name snapped him out of his state and he locked his golden eyes with the Colonel's onyx, half lidded ones. He took in a hitched breath as he felt the panic start to set in. 'Oh god, oh god... I'm in a house with a drunken man. And... And he's an alchemist, with fire! Wh-what do I do?! He's... He's going to catch me! I... I don't want it to hurt like that again! I need to get away from him...' Coherent thoughts disintegrated into a buzzing mess as the man got off the couch and slowly, with much effort of not falling over, approached him.

"Ed...? Wa's wrong?" The panicked look on Ed's face was starting to worry him. Ed yelped and took a step back , only to trip on the leg of the single sofa and send him falling onto his back, ending any chance of a successful getaway. His breathing became erratic as the smell of the alcohol got stronger as the man got closer, flashes of the nights when he was in exactly the same situation melted into his reality , it was the same.

It's the same thing all over again.

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**it seems I'm up to my old cliffhanger ways again... im really sorry if**** you didn't like it, I know this didn't really happen and I know my plot development is awful... but you have no idea I was so stuck and that's why I have to thank Akumu no Tenshi ****so much for giving me the idea that let me write... that... ahh I cant believe im uploading this... at least its not a short-assed thing like chapter 7... stupid chapter 7 is a disappointment. feel free to yell at me, this is still my first fanfic so im still learning how to write as I go... not a good plan. you know what I should have done? I should have figured out the whole plot at the beginning, but NO! I had to be impulsive and only plan up to chapter 4! nice one Ally... but I actually never dreamed of it getting to 10 chapters long... wow. and in 2 months I feel kinda proud even though im probably the worst updater on this site. but whatever. ohh yeah! I have another AMV idea! its one on EdXWinry (sorry if you don't ship them) and the song is Beside You by 5 Seconds of Summer, say if you agree or if im terrible at song choices. anyway, ill 'see' you soon cos now I have something of a plot to go on, I feel like the last couple of chapters were like filler episodes, and those suck. sorry if my story sucks.**


	11. Chapter 11

**hmm... I was planning to update before Wednesday but considering its 00.30AM on Wednesday morning I think I kinda failed. -.- OH WELL I HAD FUN WRITING IT! that's what counts right? :D I caught a mouse at 3AM on Monday, thought youd like to know that cos im pretty proud of myself, it was really hard! anyway, here you goooo!**

**read along~**

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It's the same thing all over again.

Fear washed into the boy's chest and crushed it from the inside; he could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage so hard that he thought it would break his ribs. His lungs seized up and caused Ed to lose control of any form of steady in-out breathing routine. But his broken mind was seeing not one, but two men approaching his shaking yet paralysed form. His eyes widened as both Mr Hewitt and Roy Mustang closed in on him, both drunk and not in control of their actions. How could he get into this situation again?! He had been so careful! He... He thought he could trust the Colonel! But only one thought was occupying his mind. 'Need to run. Need to get out. Get away. Get away.'

Ed focused all of his concentration on moving his limbs as the fear started to numb them at the ends. Arm. Leg. Arm. Leg. He scooted backwards, until his back hit the wall next to the stairs. No. He was trapped. No no no.

The stench of the alcohol was getting stronger as the men got closer, and the shaking boy remembered the exact routine for his nightly punishment. And this was it.

1. They would drink.

2. She would drag him downstairs.

3. He would pin him against the wall.

4. They would punch, kick and beat him with any object that they could reach.

He was already at step 3.

He knew what was coming next. Pinning his knees to his chest and using his arms as a shield to his face, Ed tried to minimise the breaking of his skin. But there was nothing he could do to stop the breaking of his soul...

'Dumb-ass' 'useless' 'selfish' 'bastard'.

The Hewitts would literally add insult to injury and his self-worth would be shattered to the sound of his pained cries.

And it was going to happen all over again.

He couldn't handle it happening again! How was he supposed to hide it from Al?! How was he supposed to deal with the torture again?! Ed felt his body go into shock out of habit; it made the beatings a little easier to bear...

No. He was older now. He was a State Alchemist now. He could do something now. Some sort of power brought Ed to his feet, which only served to press him further into the wall. But his added height had given him a clear view of... The door. His escape. That's where he needed to go, to get away from the pain.

All of his willpower was put into leaping forward. Ed's heart skipped a beat as the Colonel went to grab him, but his delayed actions gave Ed the chance to stumble past him and towards the door.

"N-no! Ed... Wai' stop!" Came the Colonel's cry as Ed, in almost fits of relief of getting out, wrenched open the door and got away. Away from the drunken man. Away from the beatings. Away from the threat.

He just wished that he had someone to go to. Someone to tell him he was safe.

Roy stared at the open door. How... How had the boy managed to get away...? Again?! He shivered as a freezing breeze tickled his neck, it was night time outside. It was pitch dark and freezing.

And Ed was out there.

Some form of sense brought Roy to his phone. He knew he couldn't run after Ed in this state, and whatever set him off would probably keep him from coming near the man. But seeing the boy have that look of complete horror had somehow managed to somewhat snap him out of his drunken stupor. The soldier had become very familiar with that look of fear.

"Hello?"

"R-Riza? Is tha' you?" Roy mumbled into the phone. When had he dialled the number again?

"Roy? What's wrong?" She said, sounding almost as urgent as Roy himself was. "You never call me, so is it an emergency?"

"Umm... Yeah, an'mergancy. Ed. hew as... An' then 'e... I can'..." Roy was trying desperately to get the message across, every second wasted is Ed getting further and further away.

"Roy, have you been drinking? And Edward... Was he in the house?! What were you thinking? What's wrong with Ed, Colonel, spit it out." Riza had put on her stern voice which said not following her meant a bullet through your brain or any other important organ.

He took a deep breath before concentrating on his pronunciation. "Ed-ward h-has ran awwway. Help me f-find him." He managed to say.

"What?! Ok. Roy, wait there and I'll be right over. And you'd better sober up by the time I get there, I want answers." She barked before hanging up the phone and leaving the man in silence to digest the words.

Ed raced down the streets of central, nothing but relief and leftover adrenaline pumped through his veins as he sprinted into the night. He had gotten way. He was safe, for now.

Ed came to a stop as he started to get tired and found himself at the park. There were two street lamps that lighted the area even if only a little. It was so silent that only his hard breaths were heard, and it was so cold that he could see it come out in puffs in front of his face. He walked over to the set of swings, wishing that he had out any one of his coats on before he ran away, sitting there in just his black tank top was going to end in suffering.

Ed started to shiver as the could put Goosebumps on his flesh arm, he moved to sit in the base of a climbing frame in the shape of a castle where at least he was slightly covered, it was a good thing he could fit in this smal-

Never mind. Ed sighed at the thought. But wait! Ed still had the room at the hotel!

...but his room key was in his coat pocket.

"Dammit!" Ed cursed, why did it have to end up like this?! And... And just after he had started to trust that Bastard Colonel. 'Well, clearly there isn't anything to trust. That man never cared, he was going to...' Another sigh. "Al, what am I supposed to do? Why did I let you go back on your own? I... I kinda need you here." Ed whispered under his breath, but he could feel his motivation for speech falling as his teeth began to chatter. He leant against the wooden wall and drew his knees to his chest and hugged them in an effort to retain any body heat that he managed to generate. There was no way he was going back to that house.

His thoughts were cut off and he froze at the sound of footsteps crunching across the gravel of the playground. The blond held his breath as they seemed to approach him, getting louder. His shaking increased at the suspense, why was he so uptight?

"Oh, my!" Ed's heard skipped a beat as a feminine voice emerged from behind him, jumping at the sound he turned around to face its source... It was a woman. She had short blond hair in a bob and a big brown coat covered her from her shoulders to her ankles. The figure bent down and looked at Ed through a gap in the frame. He froze again. His eyes widened, oh god, he'd been found.

"Ah! You must be cold! Poor child, come over here and I'll give you my coat." She said and started to take off her top layer of clothing.

"N-no! I... I mean, I'm fine thank you. Don't worry about me." Ed told her, his mother had always told his not to talk to strangers, and even thought this woman seemed nice...

"Why are you out here in the cold? Ah! You've got no layers on- Oh! Your arm! What happened to your arm?!" She shrieked, Ed looked at his automail, he could feel its freezing metal round the port, he better got out of the cold soon.

"Uh, no, please, I'm ok. Just, leave me alone, please? I... I think... I'm sorry... I just..." Ed sighed, what was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to convince this person to go away? He'd had enough trouble with adults already... He just wanted to be alone.

"Aw come here, sweetie! Here, I'll give you my coat." The woman came around to the gap in the frame and held the coat out to Edward.

No! That was his only exit! He scooted away and pushed himself against the other side, out of her reach. Just keep out of her reach.

"Roy, what happened?" Riza stepped through the open door to fine Roy on the couch, his head was in his hands and the stench of alcohol was heavy in the air. She let out a sigh and went to sit next to the man.

"R-Riza... You need to help me. Edward's gone an-and I don't know where." Roy's words were still slightly slurred but it was clear that the absence of the boy had put his clouded mind on high alert. Not only that but he had begun to feel the stress flow back into his being with a sigh.

"Ok, Roy. Where do you think he would go to when he's upset?" Riza was keeping her voice calm and collected, hoping it would have a good effect on his easily frustrated nature. Roy let out a sigh and shook his head, what was he supposed to do?!

"Then we're going to have to go look for him." Riza said as she took Roy's forearm and pulled him out of his front door, leading them both into the darkness of the night.

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**I don't know if I got my ideas out right on this chapter, I spent a long time trying to word it right and I think ive done it well enough but you can tell me otherwise :) also... I have a confession to make... I haven't finished FMA:B. WAIT! theres a reason! so I finished the original series, and I got all sad at the end (not gonna give away anything, just in case) but the film made it better :D anyway, it turns out that Ive found myself too scared to finish Brotherhood! I mean ive seen spoilers so I know everything turns out ok but Im afraid of Father, he really scares me even though ive only watched till episode 45... WAAA! ok, fine. imma watch the rest of it. tomorrow (today) probably. I will make a promise to you that I will finish it. ok well... yeah. OH! who of you watches Ao no Exorcist? IS IT TRUE THAT THERE IS A NEW SERIES COMING?! I don't know which is the OFFICIAL site so I don't know where to look, but I heard some rumours from comments on youtube that THERE MIGHT BE! :D I will die if there is I love that show! :D anyway, I hope you liked the chapter... im going to go watch some FMA now because of a certain promise I made :) BYE.**


	12. Chapter 12

**be impressed, two chapters in a week :D (I know that most authors update like every other day or even twice a day but this is just my recreational hobby so I write when I can/ want to) im not gonna bore you with a long author's note today cause im starting school again tomorrow to I need to get to sleep :) so here you go!**

**chapter 12~**

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"Where do you live sweetie?" The woman asked a shivering Ed, her eyes sparkled in the street lamp's light but Ed wasn't so willing to trust them just yet.

"Nowhere." He replied blankly, the vaguer he kept his answers, the safer he'd be.

"Oh that's such a silly thing to say! I bet your mommy and daddy are worried sick about you!" She said with a sickly-sweet smile.

"Please leave me alone." He said, he'd had enough of this woman, there was no way he was going to put up with the way she was prying herself into his life, he was just fine on his own, without a 'mommy and daddy'.

The woman frowned. "Well, that's not very nice when I'm only trying to help you." She said. "I think you owe me an apology." As fast as lightning she dove in and grabbed Ed's ankle and started to pull him out of the frame.

"H-hey! Wait! What are you- LET GO!" He screamed as he squirmed against her iron grip. This was bad, what was she going to do?! Why did she grab him?! "LET GO!" He screamed again and tried desperately to find something to grab onto. No such luck. 'Someone, Al, someone help me! This lady, something's not right about her...

'Mustang. Help me.'

"Come on Roy, pick up the pace. You want to find Edward, don't you?" Riza barked as the two stormed down the streets, searching for any trace of the blonde boy. Roy grunted in response and walked faster to keep up with his subordinate, only to stop dead with her a second later as a shout tore through the night time air.

'He just up and left... Why? It's so cold out here... Oh god! He'll get sick again! Edward I swear I'm going to find you...'

"Let go!" I was faint, but it was definitely... It was definitely Edward.

"Riza did you-?" Roy looked towards her only to find that she had taken off running towards the sound. Realising all the possible meanings behind the exclamation, Roy took in a sharp breath and bolted after Riza. 'Hold on, Ed, we're coming! Just hold on until we get there!' He thought, his heart beating in his throat of both fatigue and anxiety, recognising these exact emotions from when Ed had run away the first time, how could this kid send him into such a panic?!

'How could he get away AGAIN? Oh damn, I need to find him! I need to find him right now! What's happening to him? He's going to get hurt! I know it! It's all my fault!' Roy felt the guilt flood into his chest again, if anything were to happen to that boy... He wouldn't forgive himself. That kid deserves nothing but a safe, happy life. Nothing like this. Nothing like being lost outside in the night and... Something bad is happening. Dammit! All he wanted was for Ed to be happy! Why... Why couldn't he do at least that for him? The memories of Ed breaking down in his kitchen passes through his mind; the way he was shaking from the anger and sadness towards the life this world has given him; the way he was screaming his heart out for the first time and... And how Ed had outright rejected him as a father figure.

That hurt more than it should have.

The two rounded the corner to the sound of metal scraping against gravel and Ed's small grunts of effort. There, in front of them, was the park.

"Get out here you little runt and apologise to me." The woman hissed as she tugged Ed out of the climbing frame and dragged him across the park. Ed continued to tug at her grip but the more he moved, the more the gravel would pierce his back causing him to hiss and yelp in pain. There was going to be blood, he knew it and could feel the sharp stones ripping at his skin and getting lodged in his automail port. This was really, really bad.

"HEY! LET GO OF THAT BOY RIGHT NOW!" Ed heard someone scream from across the park, someone who sounded exactly like...

Mustang.

Ed took advantage of his captor's sudden shock and yanked his leg free before bolting towards the voice, but as soon as he got sight of that man, the memories all flooded back again, both from long years and mere minutes and caused him to catch his breath. There was no way he was running back to that. No way in hell.

Using his agile strength, Ed barely lost any speed as he made a sharp turn and dove into an alley, hoping to get far away from that Bastard... Again.

"EDWARD!" Both soldiers yelled in unison as they saw the boy quickly dart in a different direction with fear clouding his eyes.

"Roy, go after him, I'll try and cut him off- WAIT YOU!" Riza explained but was distracted by the sight of the blonde woman who was dragging Ed across the park race after the boy into the alley, closely followed by Roy. He had to get there first. Riza took off to round the block, using all the strength she had in her legs to get there in time.

Hawkeye past the last house and rounded the corner to the alley but just as she was doing so, something rammed into her side and sent her careering backwards onto the pavement with said 'something' falling on top of her. Both Riza and Ed let out a small yelp on impact and Riza realised who had crashed into her as he got onto his hands and knees over her, blonde bangs coving his sweating, panting pace.

"Ed!" She breathed, relieved they had caught him. But the small boy let out a yell of shock and brought his fist back before looking up and stopping in his tracks.

"H-Hawkeye?" He whispered, confusion lining his golden eyes. Confusion quickly turned back into fear and in a flash he was facing the alley from which he had just tumbled. He saw the two adults racing towards him and he started to scoot backwards until he was behind Riza.

"Edward?" Riza saw how tense the boy was and the fact that he was scared and upset was clear in his eyes... Wait. That wasn't the only thing that was visible. Tears. Tears were falling down the small boy's face as he shook more violently than before, it broke her heart. she had never seen him like this before. she had seen him angry and in pain- remembering the automail reattachment- but never scared or upset or... crying. Following his line of sight she saw the colonel and that woman emerge from the dark alley and into the lighted street. She heard Ed whimper as the two people took slow steps towards them, and she drew her gun. She pointed it at the woman who gave her a hard stare.

"That boy owes me something. Give him to me." She hissed in the same tone she used on Ed.

"'that boy' owes you nothing. So back off." Riza snapped back, sending a death glare of her own back at the woman. She heard Ed let out a small breath, probably one he'd been holding until now.

"Ed, are you ok? What's wrong?" The colonel said in a soft tone, but one could clearly hear the distress and pure panic lying just beneath the calm front he was putting on as he took a step forwards. Ed let out another yelp and moved backwards, and Riza pointed her gun towards him.

Roy immediately stopped in his tracks and his façade slipped off as shock took over his facial features. "R-Riza? Wha-" his voice shook with confusion but he stopped talking, hating that he sounded so upset. But... How? Since when did Riza point her gun at him... With that look in her eyes? Normally they were hard but he could see the 'I'm sorry but I have to' just behind them. This was not present in those brown eyes now. All he saw was 'back off or I WILL shoot you.' Roy felt his chest ache as he saw the person that he trusted most in the world take the safety off of her hand gun with shaking hands. This was not what she wanted to do, but at the same time, she knew that she needed to for her own peace of mind.

"Not. Another. Step. Either of you. Colonel, you have done something to upset Ed, and I will NOT let you near this boy until he deems it ok. Is that clear? And you." Riza moved her gun back to point at the strange woman's head. "Get out of here. Right. Now."

The two women stared at each other, both fighting to win the dominance, but with practice Riza had the upper hand and the stranger backed down and walked away. But not before spitting in Ed's direction.

"Watch out, you little runt." She said as she rounded the corner of the block. Riza had watched her go, but now had her attention back on the man in front of her.

Silently, she put her gun down on the floor, but not out of reach and, while still keeping her eyes locked with Roy's, she stood up and took off her coat before walking around to drape it over Ed's shaking shoulders. He relaxed a little, grateful for the sudden warmth and tugged the coat tighter around his frame, still eyeing the Colonel with panicked eyes and fresh tears. He thought he could trust the Colonel, he thought that after everything that Roy had done for him, he could start to trust him. But the shattered remains of this 'trust' had left a gaping new hole in his chest. It hurt.

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**so? good? bad? I actually wrote this while sitting in a tree in a play park cause there's one just on the other side of my fence behind my house :D we had England's first warm day of the year today and it got up to 18 degrees! (Celsius/centigrade, don't know it in Fahrenheit, sorry) so I was happy :) again, not a long note this time, YAY! :D I bet I always bore everyone half to death :') oh well! ive written the next chapter so that will be up soon! but I think I will end it soon cause a brand new idea came to me last night and that one seems a lot more exciting to write than this boring thing :) (this time Im going to map out the whole plot, instead of winging it like I have been so far -.-' ) really hoped you liked this chapter! **

**P.S. that woman is a minor character and an OC so don't think you're missing an implied FMA cameo, anyway, she leaves now and I don't think she'll come back so no worries :D **

**laters!**

**... oh no. this A/N got long again -.-' sorry. :')**


	13. Chapter 13

**ok so here's the next chapter! :D I feel bad for keeping it from you for so long since I already said that I'd already written it, but I was trying to buy time for writing the last chapter... anyway, ill talk more when you finish this chapter :D**

**your turn~**

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Riza then went in front of the small boy and crouched down so that she was eye-level with him.

"Now, Ed. I want you to tell me what happened. Can you do that?" Ed looked up into her eyes and saw nothing but compassion, so he decided to trust her, even if it meant making Roy angry again... She could protect him right? She had the gun right?

"H-he was going t-to hurt me..." He whispered through his chattering teeth, he turned to look at Roy and cowered from his gaze. Riza took in a deep breath and turned towards the colonel.

"Roy, is that true? You were, and still are drunk." the words caused Ed to stiffen again as he shifted his gaze between the two adults. "Do you think it's possible that you went to hit Ed?" The look of shock on the man's face something that neither blonde had seen before. His eyes were wide, making his black irises look like nothing but dots and his mouth hung open as he tried to form any coherent words that could defend himself. But nothing came.

"Colonel. I want you to take a deep breath and think straight. This is important, Ed's upset, Roy. He's just a child. Now tell me what happened." She said, she spoke slowly but her voice held no real aggression behind it.

Before Roy had a chance to think through the command, Ed spoke up.

"I'm not a child. I'm fine. Leave me alone." He said in a flat, emotionless tone. He'd had enough, he wasn't going to put up with this anymore and he had used the recent time to gather his thoughts, memories and emotions into something more respectable. What use was there in a sniffling kid? He left that behind years ago. Ed got to his feet and dropped the coat that was around his shoulders.

"Edward-" Riza started as he turned on his heels and started to walk away. How was he able to build up that wall so quickly? She watched him leaving as did the colonel. 'Not this time.' She thought as she leapt up and grabbed the boy's wrist before pulling him back with a spin into a tight embrace.

"Wh-what are you doing? Let go of me!" Ed started to struggle against her hold but she didn't give. She started to make small 'shhh' sounds and images of Ed's mother came flooding back. 'Man, these two really know how to tear me apart...' He thought between deep breaths which were helping to keep the tears away. He just missed her, a lot. Clearly his 'wall' that he had recently rebuilt, wasn't a long term solution and more of a quick fix, unstable as it was.

"Edward... Why would you think that I would hurt you?" Roy finally spoke up and caught the attention of both blondes. Ed took in another deep breath before answering.

"Let's just say... I've had experience. Now let me go." He said, but his voice broke near the end, signalling his emotional status was not yet secure.

"What kind of... What do you mean?" Realisation dropped onto Roy like a coin and a scowl covered his face. "Who gave you this... 'Experience'?" He said through gritted teeth.

"Who cares-" Ed cut himself off as his voice broke again, he wished it was his mother holding him now. Riza continued to shush him and started to stroke the boy's head as he started to shake in an effort to keep his composure. "I-it was all h-her fault for dying." He whispered, his voice taught with strain as his throat and chest clenched and his breathing became hitched. "I-if she d-didn't die... Th-then Al and me wo-wouldn't have h-had to go th-there." His voice full of unfulfilled spite.

"Shhh, Ed. calm down, where did you and your brother go after your mother died?" Riza said calmly. They didn't know very much about the Elric boys' past, a lot of it was what Hughes took to his grave, only sharing what he had found out under necessary circumstances. And other things that the boys had shared themselves, other than the obvious factors.

Ed was getting more and more worked up, his shaking had worsened, he was letting out small angry grunts every now and then to try and open his closing throat and he furiously wiped at his eyes to keep the tears from falling. Riza looked down to the golden head and pulled the teenager closer, clearly he was battling with his emotions, what was the problem with a little support? She started to rub his back but pulled away as Ed jerked and let out a hiss of pain.

"Ed? You're hurt. Let me have a look." Riza took his struggling hand and lead him over to the better light under a street lamp. Roy followed but he didn't get close, he knew better than to approach Ed when he was like this, but it wasn't like he didn't want to be the one comforting him. The poor boy was breaking down all over again in front of him and this time he couldn't help, not after the result of last time's 'help' in the kitchen.

She spun Ed around to see his back and held him by his shoulders to keep him from bolting. A muffled hiss escaped her lips as she saw that the back of his tank top was torn to shreds, smaller pieces of gravel were still lodged to the wet, sticky flesh.

"Does it hurt?"

"No." Jab. "AH! Ouch DAMMIT HAWKEYE ARE YOU TRYING TO RUN ME INTO THE GROUND?! ENOUGH ALREADY! YOU'RE NOT HELPING, STOP TRYING TO GET INSIDE MY MIND! Leave me alone... I have some stuff to sort out." Ed screamed then whispered and tried to somehow hide his vulnerable, injured side. But he didn't make a move to leave Riza's hold.

"Like hell you have some stuff to sort out, Ed. Just tell us what's really going on inside your head!" Roy shouted back. He'd also had enough. Enough of watching this kid fight off his demons on his own only to let out glimpses of his devastating war wounds. "Just... Just let it out already. What are you gaining by hiding it?" He whispered harshly. Ed just stared at him for a while, just contemplating his answer. He lowered his gaze to the floor before speaking.

"Maybe I gain a sense of pride. Maybe I need to hide it to move on or else... If Al... if anyone were to know, they would overreact and... And maybe it would slow us down. And maybe it's just a waste of my time to dwell on the past. You ask me what I gain from hiding it? Well what could I possibly gain from showing it-"

"We could help you." Riza cut in.

Ed gave a small chuckle. "No, I highly doubt that. All I would gain is your sympathy. 'I'm sorry Ed.' 'we're all here for you.' Bullshit. There's nothing you can do for me." Ed raised his head with an unfocused look, like he was looking right through the colonel. Streams of tears glinted in the dim light, deepening the frown on Roy's face. A wide grin spread itself on Ed's cheeks and looked so ominously out of place. "I'm touched, you guys. I really am." Sarcasm was dripping off of every word. "But I don't need sympathy. It's completely worthless. Just like me-"

SMACK. Roy had stepped forward and struck Ed across the face with as much force as he dared. Riza snapped to her gun holder which had its contents lying a few feet away on the street. "Snap out of it, Fullmetal. Get. A. Grip." He barked at the boy before the street was plunged into silence. No one dared to say a word that would unsettle Ed again.

He shut his golden eyes tightly, this was too much. They loved him, got him to break his barrier, then hated him and shouted. Why? Did it make them feel better to build him up then throw him down? Just to know that there's someone weaker than them? Ed continued to stand there, to try and comprehend all of his emotions and try to somehow get a grasp on them just as Roy had told him to. There was sadness... a lot of sadness. hatred? anger. loneliness and alienation. Regret. hope. sorting through them all, he eventually went so deep inside of himself that he didn't notice that he had fallen to his knees.

"Edw-!"

"Wait." Roy said, holding a hand up to silence his lieutenant. Ed swayed on his knees so Roy went to hold him so he would hit the ground. Ed's breathing slowed and he gradually stopped shaking before his shoulders slumped.

"It just... Hurts. You know?" Ed's voice had no trace of distress but it was barely above a whisper. Roy could hardly concealed his smile, he was finally coming into terms with his emotions.

"No Ed, I don't know. But why don't you tell me about it?"

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**ok, firstly I want to tell you that I know that this chapter is rushed and all over the place but because I wrote it over a long time, the scenes were going a lot slower for me and I couldn't think of a way to slow it down except adding more paragraphs, words and dialogue which would only end up with useless blabber -.-' secondly, I know that this is kinda OOC but trust me, you don't even know what OOC is until you read my next chapter -.-' sorry... so im ending the story next chapter and I've got the last line, I just need to try and dream up a way to get to that situation, which is what will take me ages, I can just tell. BUT DONT WORRY cause ive got a new parental!RoyEd fic idea that's just waiting to be written but I know that if I start that before finishing this then one of them will get rejected, and that would bad, plus this one is really getting tiring, don't you think? **

**sorry I uploaded it before I spell-checked so I took it down again... sorry.**


	14. Chapter 14

**so here it is, as promised... the last chapter of my first fanfic :D sorry it took so long but most of my writing time was taken by preparation for my English exam tomorrow, so... yeah**

**WARNING: extreme OOCness in this chapter, but imagination doesn't colour within the lines.**

**for the last time~**

* * *

"It just... Hurts, you know?"

"No Ed, I don't know. But why don't you tell me about it?"

"It's just that... I wish I hadn't... Done... that. I wish it never happened, and Al and I could still be living with Winry and Granny, going to school and we would still have our bodies." Ed let out a hearty sigh as of to blow away the happy life that was so far out of his reach and looked back up to Roy, illuminating his face in a soft golden light. "Do I have to talk? It's... Not as fun as I thought it'd be." He said. Roy tightened his grip on the uneven shoulders and shook his head.

"No, Ed. you don't have to talk right now. But please, come and talk to me when you're feeling down, because I'll listen, right? You know that you can trust me, right?" It was a big wish, and Roy knew it. But, with any luck, he could hopefully become part of Ed's circle again. Ed looked into Roy's onyx black eyes for a long time, clearly trying to figure something out before he lowered his gaze again.

"I don't know." He whispered as he got back up to his feet, dusting himself off as he did so. Roy following suit. A smile spread itself across Ed's face, but this time it was genuine, the light returned into his eyes and he stood a little taller. "You'll just have to prove yourself then, wonch'a Mustang?" He said. "Hmm... I wonder what I should make you do to prove yourself to me..." Ed said while putting on a fake thinking face. Roy darkened at the musings.

"Don't get cocky, Fullmetal." He grumbled. But his eyes darted around the boy avertedly. "Riza said you're injured, what's the damage?" Hawkeye steeped forward and placed a hand on the teenager's shoulder before tuning him around.

She pointed to the many scratches and shallow gashes in his pale back. "No major injuries, however, if it is not cleaned then infection could set in. I recommend a disinfectant and bandages." Out of habit, using her professional voice.

"Ok, thank you Hawkeye." Roy replied. "I think I have some bandages at my place." He said and started to lead the others towards his house, but Ed didn't follow. "Something wrong, Ed?" The man asked, turning around.

"... No. It's nothing." He said before moving to follow Roy back to his home.

"Edward! Hold still!"

"But it- AHH! It stings! AH!" Roy was trying to carefully clean Ed's back with a cloth, which proved very difficult because of Ed's jerking and pained hisses at every point of contact.

"I know it does but I'm nearly done, so can you just try and calm down for a minute, please?" He placed a hand on the teenager's struggling shoulder gently, letting him relax a bit before slowly going to wipe the last few cuts near his left shoulder, his sharp shoulder blade being the worst affected. "Ok, done. Feel better now?" Roy asked sarcastically. Ed sighed and stretched his neck, after sitting in one position for a long, painful time, it had gotten quite stiff.

"Here you go guys. I hope you like it strong." Riza said as she entered the bathroom holding two cups of coffee. She handed them to the two boys; Roy only took a sip of his before putting it down whereas Ed seemed to want to wrap himself around the warm cup. "Ok Ed, now we need to do the bandages, are you ready?"

"Roy, maybe I should do it." Riza said and moved to get the bandages before taking Roy's place behind Ed. With gentle hands she began to wind the bandages around Ed's back and shoulder, putting light pressure where the pain would be less intense to try and distract Ed's mind. Before he knew it, she was tucking the end away and admiring her handiwork. "There, feel any better, Ed?" She said.

"Yeah... Thanks." He said and started to stretch his back to test the extent of the bandages' hold, before realising that was probably a bad idea as the cuts sent jolts of pain up his spine.

It was no sooner than he settled himself back into his seat on the toilet that Ed was enveloped in a strong pair of arms.

"M-Mustang?!" Ed half-shrieked.

"Oh god Ed, didn't I tell you not to EVER do that again?! I told you. I said 'don't run and do that to me again.' I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Roy held Ed as tightly as he dared, just to make sure he was still there, still right there.

"... This is... Not very like the Bastard I know..." Ed whispered in confusion, why the heck was the guy HUGGING him? But... Ed had come to like these hugs, they were comforting.

Roy let out a small chuckle, "Yeah, well I've found a whole new person inside of you; I never would have guessed that you had so much all locked up, kid. Edward," Roy let go of the boy and looked into the golden eyes. "you are extraordinary, did you know that?" The black haired man saw Riza acquire a smile across her lips out of the corner of his eye, but although it gave him a good feeling to see the approval, that wasn't his top priority right now. Ed was squirming in his seat, avoiding any eye contact.

"Umm... Yeah. Can... Can I use your phone? Please?" Ed stuttered. Roy stared for a minute before giving a quick nod, the trigger for Ed to leap up and speed out of the bathroom, leaving a confused Roy and a sympathetic Riza.

"He's going to be ok, right?" Roy said turning to the blonde woman who smiled back at him.

"He's going to be just fine, Roy. He just doesn't know what to make of you right now, but he'll come around. If you put yourself in his position, he hasn't had anyone to trust other than his brother for so long so it must be difficult." She said. Roy's mind flashed back to the scene in the kitchen...

- "B-but... You're not my... My... Father... YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!"-

Roy let out another sigh, turning towards the door of the bathroom.

"Just let him have some time to talk to his brother." Riza said from behind him.

Ed walked into the kitchen to find both adults, having a quite conversation over coffee. Their talking stopped as soon as he made an appearance though and all eyes turned to him.

"How's your brother, Ed?" Riza said.

"He's going to get on the train to come back tomorrow, so he should be in central by tomorrow evening." The boy replied his voice still quieter than usual and accompanied by nervous glances at Roy.

"I'll arrange for someone to pick him up from the station then, would you like that?" Roy asked, getting up from his seat to put his mug in the sink, not because it was empty, but because he couldn't stand the looks that Ed was giving him.

"... Yeah." Ed whispered. "Thanks."

Roy gave a little gasp of surprise when he felt shaking arms wrap around him from the back.

"Really... Thanks." Edward whispered into the colonel's back.

Roy took hold of Ed's forearms and lifted them from his torso before turning around and placing them back around his neck as he knelt down, pulling Ed into a hug with one hand behind his back and one behind his head. This time it was Ed's turn to gasp in surprise.

"You know... I could be your father- thingy... If you want! Only if you want, because I know that you think of me as like a bastard and all that but maybe... If you want... You could see me as, you know..." Roy said quietly with no reasoning behind the words other than that he wanted to say them.

Ed stayed silent for a long time, he didn't move an inch, but he didn't let go of Roy either. He just... stayed still.

Roy was afraid that if he moved, Ed would run away again, or break again, so they just stayed still.

"... Fine." Ed finally whispered. He pulled out of the embrace and took a step back as Roy stood back up again, confused by the teen's response.

"What do you-?"

"Can we go back to the hotel, please? I left something there." Ed said, as if he had never heard what the colonel had just said.

Roy looked at the boy, and then looked to the ever-present Riza and back again. "Uh... Yeah, sure. Now?"

"Yahuh." The blond simply replied.

"Ok, let's go then." Roy said, trying to ignore the unanswered question that still remained in the room, and made to leave with Ed behind him.

"I think I'll be going home now Roy, you'll be ok won't you?" Riza finally said, also ignoring the recent events.

"Of course, I'll see you at work tomorrow, Riza." Roy replied as he put on his coat and waited for Ed who had run upstairs to put on his remaining layers of clothing before jogging back downstairs.

Hoping into the black car, the two boys drive towards the hotel, neither saying a word for the whole ride.

The door clicked open and Ed lead the way inside the room, Roy went to sit on the sofa and watched Ed dig through his not yet unpacked suitcase.

"So what did you want to get then?" He said after a while. Finally, Ed pulled out a brown A4 envelope and walked towards Roy on the couch before stopping in front of him.

Ed held out the envelope and Roy just looked between it and Ed in confusion, what was this supposed to be? A small blush spread across Ed's cheeks as he took a deep breath.

"Here's your report, Dad."

* * *

**so? what do you think of my story? I wanted to end with linking back to the beginning because those endings are nice :) don't be sad cause im coming right back with a waaay better story (hopefully, I mean... I think so but you might not) with all new Parental!RoyEd! and it still gets better! this one might actually have a plot! :O so stay tuned because its coming! ive really enjoyed writing this and im so happy because of everyone that reviewed! THANK YOU! also, thank you to my new friends Akumu no Tenshi, ZakuroU and Half Demon Alchemist because you guys made me laugh my socks off! see you guys in my new story!**

**... as soon as I figure out how to start it.**


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